November Rain
by labyrinth1119
Summary: COMPLETE! Hovering, shuddering, the last breath as the death of fall surrounds us. The cusp of the abyss, the catalyst for a harsh winter. It is a story of complete obssession. [HD slash, and is now a little AU due to the new canon introduced by HBP]
1. Default Chapter

A/N: So yes, this idea came to me while I was listening to November Rain, by Guns-n-Roses, and I really tried to write a fluff, but my mind kept conjuring horrible and torturous images…I have an idea on how I want to pursue this story, but it may change as time goes along.

Dedication: This is dedicated to my brother, who loves to brag that his sister writes "Gay Porn".

Disclaimer: Think about it people…the answer will come to you.

_

* * *

November Rain_

_Prologue _

* * *

November

Hovering, shuddering, the last breath as the death of fall surrounds us. It is the cusp of the abyss, the catalyst for a harsh winter.

It is the in-between.

And I am in the middle of it.

My candle flickers, struggling against the opposing elements that have successfully drenched me to the bone, and I am staring.

_"Who is here now?"_

'Fuck'

I turn toward the voice, but I see nothing but the Forbidden Forest. I'm confused, trying to understand what has happened, how it happened. I think I already know why.

At first, it seemed like the work of "He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named", but that theory ended when he was killed…brutally…and the deaths continued. Suspicions polluted the air, desecrating established friendships and relationships, and it buried itself into that area of the brain that exists in all of us. You know…

The voice that brings your attention to the possible destruction of perfect, innocent moments. The little voice that whispers how easy it would be to just push that person standing to close to the tracks, that little voice that plots the perfect murder while the rest of you lies awake in bed wondering 'What on earth made me think that?'.

_"Do you know where you are?"_

'Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck'

I whip my head around, trying to locate that voice, still unable to do so.

"Who's there?" I whisper.

As far as I know, there are only a few of us left. I start my way towards the castle; I had only wanted to get away from the accusations and fear. Something tells me that all this insanity will end soon, but I do not know if I will be alive to see it.

I take another step, turning my head as I sense someone close by.

"Who's there?" I say, louder then before.

Even Draco looks at me differently. I can see the love in his eyes, smoldering beneath the surface trying to break free to gasp in cool, crisp air. Instead, it is slowly drowning. I flush in anger at this thought, hypocritically, as I feel the same emotion dying within me.

I am aware, before recent events, that our communion was pondered. I will not bore you with details, you can pick any cliché' that suits you the best. Let's see, there is detention, a potions mix-up, stumbling across a secret conversation in which Draco confesses his desire to join the light. It could have been a fight that inevitably turned into passion, or even a chance encounter by two lonely souls, discovering how much they have in common. All of these are exiting, and in no doubt were entertained by many, but the actual events were pretty boring. And now no one cares, and he fears me…and I fear him.

I have reached the stone steps, and I repeat my mantra:

"I am Harry Potter"

"I am 22 years old"

"I am a respected and feared Auror"

"I am NOT the Boy Who Lived"

"I am…"

I sigh, defeated.

"I am nothing but a tantrum of serenity".

'Why did I come here?'

Rain has won the war with my candle as the flame hisses and dies. I turn around again.

"WHO'S THERE?" I shout.

A/N: I know, cliffhanger…but isn't that the point of a prologue? Please let me know what you think? I would like to note that my intention of "cliché's" is not to mock any plot or story posted by the many authors on this website. I honestly took a collection of the most common. I have read MANY stories on this site, and myself has entertained these very same "cliché's"…so please don't hate me?


	2. We've been through this

A/N: Warning! This chapter is full of hatred and dark feelings and character death…however, once I got that out of my system I discovered that I can write fluff! Okay, so it won't be until the next chapter, and it won't be that fluffy…but it is there.

So…if you find you have an extra moment, please drop me a review to tell me what you think?

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* * *

Chapter 1_

_5 years ago_

_Hogwarts Graduation_

* * *

During our 7th year, tensions ran high. With NEWT tests, Graduation, and Voldemort, we didn't know which way was up. Adding DA lessons into the mix, along with my sleepless nights, I was running on empty.

I was allowed to start attending Order meetings that were, unfortunately, held at Sirius's house. It's bad enough that my irrationality sufficiently eradicated my godfather from my life, but let's relive the moment every night in my dreams and let's shove it in my face every time I cross that threshold. However, it is necessary as I draw closer to the inevitable.

A few others along with myself trained extra hard to prepare in every way imaginable and as often as we could. I had already mastered Occlumency with Snape last year and although the mutual hate still burned, we also had mutual respect. Nearly all the elements that tormented him in youth were gone. And though he no doubt received perverse pleasure by my loss, he did not gloat, sneer or smirk in my presence. I returned the favor by being as difficult as ever.

Voldemort, maybe still incensed by being denied the full prophecy, stayed quiet. Don't get me wrong, there were attacks, deaths, and things that are worse than death, but for the most part he was leaving me alone and I was thankful. School became a trepid affair, fear around every corner. You see, after every holiday…then every weekend…the school was systematically "cleansed". The ghostly footprints that pattered through the hallways reminded us of the schoolmates that were not longer with us, either in death or familial removal.

But I am rambling.

There were two cataclysmic events that took place before Graduation. One of which was Draco Malfoy.

Look, I no longer fool myself into thinking I will be appraised of all developments within the Order, but I sure as hell expected to be told of this! To say I was surprised to see Draco escorted into one of our meetings would indicate that I truly thought the boy was evil. No….I was just pissed.

It had not escaped my attention that the shift in Draco's attitude occurred after his father received the Dementor's Kiss, what I did not know was his conversation with Dumbledore at the end of last year. The only thought running through my mind, as Draco stood in the doorway unsure how to act while everyone glared at him, was that the bastard has tried to upstage me again…and it worked.

Oh yes, I was mad. Thankfully, I can always count on Ron to act like the arse for the both of us. However, before Ron was able to stop sputtering enough to attack, Dumbledore appeared behind Draco to appease our fear. He assured us of Draco's sincerity, having administered the Veritaserum himself. Dumbledore explained that he had kept Draco's secret for many reasons and we should not question his actions. Yeah, well, that didn't turn our frowns upside down. Such is life.

Regardless of history, we accepted Draco into our group.

I knew he had it in him.

The second event to take place before Graduation…was the death of Albus Dumbledore.

And just like everything else in the fucked up life, it was my fault.

Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, the greatest wizard of our time, the one wizard feared most by Voldemort, the righter of wrongs, the keeper of justice, the first father figure I knew, the one man who laid me on the doorstep of my only family left knowing what he and I would have to face after a decade. He was my protector, my teacher. He was my _hero_.

This great man…thwarted because he did not notice the poison that laced his Lemon Drops.

All of my fucking fault. I'm not sure how, but I know it is.

It was November, and all I remember is running…running through the rain.

That night, stumbling through the hallway at some god-forsaken hour of the night, I felt someone behind me as I slumped against a wall.

"Just when are you planning to kill this fucker?"

That aristocratic drawl held no malice, no sneer, only sadness spoken from someone who has lost the first person who saw light within them.

So I punched him…and walked away.

I did not attend the funeral, knowing all I would see would be accusations.

_A young man sits in the chair, _

_unaware, _

_unaware of the straps that held him, _

_unaware of the others in the room, _

_unaware of the single tear that rolled down his cheek._

The rest of the year held no joy, even when the Ministry stopped a huge attack that saved hundreds of lives. No…no celebration was held as it only reminded us of all those we did not save.

* * *

The remained students graduated under the guidance of our new Headmistress Minerva McGonagall, and that night found a group of friends sitting by the lake.

Ron and Hermione, long in love, sat to the left of me, and on the right Neville, Draco, Millicent, Luna and Lavender.

_Once upon a midnight stream_

_I sat alone and dreamed a dream._

All of us would be entering the summer as members of the Order, along with many other students. I would be starting Auror training with my new roommate, Draco. We were all truly united in our love and our hate. This began when our class size became smaller. Those who cared, sought others who cared, and we all found each other.

"Doesn't seem real, does it?"

We all turned towards Ron. His eyes were glazed over, remembering.

And so we sat, waiting for the happy ending, knowing that we already missed it…it would never pass this way again.

* * *

I should also mention a cataclysmic event that took place after Graduation. Severus Snape was murdered as he entered his London flat on a sweltering summer day.

He may have been my most hated friend, but his death closed another door to my family's past. I wonder if my father is aware that all he knows is slowly dying on the shoulders of his only son? I wonder if he knows how much it is driving me to madness? Unreasonable, yes, but it is starting to annoy me that so many people from _his_ life get yanked out of _mine_. Gee, thanks dad.

_I may be only 17, but my insanity spans centuries._

I wonder if my father is aware that I am starting to hate him?

* * *

A/N Yeah, yeah, I know. Please review anyway? 


	3. Just trying to kill the pain

A/N: Thank you to those who have read the story so far…and a special thank you to those who reviewed! As requested by an anonymous reviewer, who requested that I change the POV, I did something a little different with this chapter. I hope you all like it.

Disclaimer: If I were JKR, would I have this many typos?

_

* * *

Chapter 3_

_4 years ago_

_Auror Training_

* * *

You know the term "too busy to think"? Severe understatement. I'm thinking along the lines of "like a chicken with its head cut off".

In summation, my agenda was booked.

My daily routine compared easily to a muggle "boot camp". I was housed in a barracks like structure, sparsely furnished, and existing with other Auror hopefuls.

As if it were the word of God himself, a thunderous voice would awaken us at 5:00 a.m. sharp. After stumbling through a sleepy shower, we would fall in formation on the quarterdeck, and then be led outside to repeat the same hell we had survived the day before.

With muscles, bones, and brain protesting, we would start our 3-mile run after a set of strenuous calisthenics. Afterwards, we would return for breakfast and then begin the first class of the day. The end of the second class of the day would lead to lunch, followed by another class, drill, then dinner. Once dinner was over, those still able to control their physical self enjoyed personal time.

It was during personal time we were able to fold our clothes, shower again, maybe write a letter even though we could not receive any. A lot to catch up with considering personal time was only 15 minutes. Generous.

Unfortunately, it was also the time we were allowed to speak to each other.

"Why did you punch me that day Potter?"

Don't let the use of my last name fool you. Draco and I did have a friendship; we had used our first names freely in the last year at Hogwarts. But identity in that place was not allowed, hence reverting to our last names.

Damn, I'm rambling again.

_Always a doubt_

_never a shout_

_or a scream_

_it's a dream. _

_I hope I pray it'll go away. _

_Only to resurface when I least expect it._

So, yes, I could have punched him again, but that would have been redundant. Not to mention the punishment that I would have had to endure by those trained to turn us into killing machines, but for some reason find no tolerance for fighting. Plus, the look on his face, thinking I was going to punch him again was priceless.

Instead I ignore him, but he is relentless.

"Did you think that no one else could feel the level of hurt you felt? Just because you had a special attachment to the old man?"

His words became harsher, antagonizing a reaction.

"And don't give me some bullshit about being overwhelmed by guilt and you had to 'lash out'. If that was the case, you could have punched anybody, but it was I to win that coveted spot. Why Potter? Was it because I replaced you? That I knew more of that man's love and protection than you ever knew? God DAMN IT! Tell me WHY!"

At least that is what I think he said.

_And I'll be scared _

_and unprepared _

_and I'll run away again._

I was too busy hovering somewhere between undiluted rage and soul wrenching grief.

I went with grief.

Choking on the emotion that I had denied myself for so long, I answered Draco, articulating as best as I could.

"Myself."

Whatever he perceived in that answer seemed to please him. He offered a small smile.

"Small steps Potter."

Perfect timing, personal time was over.

Lights out.

Our physical strains of the day are enough to put anyone in a deep undisturbed sleep. Couple that with a mental breakdown, and I was almost comatose.

* * *

During our 3-month seclusion from the real world, my friendship with Draco became the only thing that kept horrible thoughts at bay. I allowed myself to confide, and I found peace.

And finally it was November, sweet November.

We were now at a different location, housed in dormitories. Since our physical training was over, it was time to concentrate on the psychological aspect of it.

It was also when we were finally able to communicate with the outside world.

Ron and Hermione, the truest of friends had apparently written letters while they were unable to reach me. It was quite a load when it was finally delivered. I became drenched in their world.

Hermione had moved out of her parent's house and into the Burrow and began to accompany Mr. Weasley to the Ministry of Magic. She became such a nuisance, that she was given an internship. Their gain really, she knows everything.

Ron was in Romania with his brother Charlie. He didn't seem to sure what he wanted to do with his life, so he was trying different things. Ron mentioned some professional Quidditch tryouts coming up and that he might give it a go.

I got caught up to date with Neville, currently working as an assistant for Professor Sprout in Herbology at Hogwarts. George and Fred sill enjoyed success with their business, and Ginny, suffering through her last year at Hogwarts without us yet enjoying the fact that there were no older brothers around.

I handed most of these letters over to Draco, who in turn filled me in on the activities of Millicent, Crabbe, and Goyle. The rest of the letters I set aside as there was another one that had caught my attention.

The letter was from Minerva McGonagall. The paper rattled in my hand as I read each word, then it fluttered to the ground. Draco was watching.

_For too long I have waited_

_lifeless_

_colorless_

_empty_

_A stoic_

His mercurial eyes darted between the letter and me.

I just wanted to punch him again.

Neither of us moved.

_He knew that the centaurs had reached their limit and had taken to mercilessly torturing his brother. Grawp, while a giant, is slow to move and therefore could not react quickly to the torrents of pain inflicted by the arrows implanted in non-lethal places. What he did not know was the true effect this caused on his brother's mental stability._

_He had gone into the forest that day, as stealthy as he could since he did not want to alert the centaurs for they attacked him also. He reached the clearing and discovered his brother huddled up against a group of trees. Stepping closer, he gagged at the sight before him._

_The wounds that covered his sibling did not leave many recognizable features. Many of the puncture wounds and gashes were infected, allowing a ready location for maggots to fester. _

_He had no idea it had gotten this bad._

_He felt terrible guilty._

_Due to the impressive domestication of his brother, he had not visited nearly as often as he had before. Thinking that leaving Grawp to himself was a better option._

_And look what happened._

_Grawp finally focused on the fact that someone had invaded is personal space, and snapped._

_Unprepared for his brother's insanity, he stood shocked and defenseless as he was mauled to death by the only family he had left._

_He was found a few hours later._

_Grawp was killed on sight._

My breaths were coming harder and ragged. My gentle giant…

_"You're a wizard, Harry."_

Then I was having a real problem. I wanted to leave, but where would I go? Down the hallway? It's not like I could have left the building.

Apparently, I was pacing. Draco's eyes were following me.

Thinking that it was safe, he picks up the letter. His eyes roam over the document, reflecting every expected emotion. He looks up at me.

"Don't." I said.

Because there was nothing.

* * *

Christmas was a subdued affair. We had all gathering in the Mess Hall for our "holiday" meal. Gifts had already been revealed, and Draco and I had our first watch that night. No big deal, we just had to "secure the parameter". Whatever.

It was snowing.

After about 2 hours of simply walking around, we found a place to sit that provided us a good view in case we needed to act like we were patrolling.

We sat close, maybe for warmth, maybe for another reason.

Draco had become my only confidant. Expressions of emotions that I could never give to my best friends, Draco accepted each as if it was a gift.

I knew for a while now that I loved him.

I also knew he felt the same way.

Please, I was not sacrificing myself because I wanted to protect him, fearing that yet _another_ person would be yanked out of my life. I'm not that stupid.

I just didn't have the time.

Well, that was no longer a problem. We had the whole night ahead of us, with nothing to do.

Hmmmmm… interesting.

We chatted about menial things, skirting the obvious entity that was desperately trying to possess us. It became increasingly difficult.

Then we gave in.

_They looked up to the sky, whose floating glow spread like a rosy ocean, vast and bright._

_They gazed into the glittering sea below whence the broad moon rose circling into sight._

_They heard the waves splash, and the wind so low,_

_And saw each other's dark eyes darting light into each other._

_And beholding this, their lips drew near and clung into a kiss._

_A long, long, kiss of youth and love and beauty all concentrating like rays, kindled from above._

_Such kisses as belong to early days where heart and soul and sense in concert move._

_Where the blood's lava, and the heart's ablaze._

_Each kiss a heartquake._

Wow. That certainly perked things up a bit. My heart opened up, and let the snow fall.

We enjoyed the rest of the holidays immersed in each other's company.

* * *

Spring descended and the world was reborn, I along with it. With Draco's guidance and compassion I allowed myself to laugh again. We only had a few more weeks of this term left, and we were so busy that we were unable to really cultivate our new relationship. Stolen moments here and there are just not enough. We were both, desperately, looking forward to the summer holidays. Luckily, time went by quickly.

With the help of the last Marauder left, I had secured the purchase of a small flat near Diagon Alley. Naturally, I had invited Draco to stay with me and he accepted.

I was actually giddy.

Seeing only pictures of my new home, I trusted Hermione to furnish and decorate. She is a girl after all.

I had received confirmation that I was connected with the Floo Network a week ago, and I was ready to step into the fireplace on the last day of school when…

Shit, I was nervous.

Draco, knowing me so fucking well stepped in next to me. And without allowing me a chance to argue, threw the powder and bellowed our destination.

Home.

Dusting off the soot from our robes, we surveyed our surroundings.

Not bad.

Our entrance landed us right in the living room, which hosted a large comfortable couch, two armchairs, coffee table and a few decorative pictures and such.

We walked through the kitchen/dining room and discovered the Hermione had kindly stocked our cabinets and refrigerator with food.

That's my girl.

We moved on to a nice study room that provided two desks, bookshelves, load of parchment and quills, another fireplace and a cozy couch. Figures that this room would be the one that Hermione would decorate with the most care.

Let's see, which room was left? Oh yeah, the bedroom.

Okay, so I was corrected. Hermione had put her best into _this_ room.

There was a marvelously large bed, canopy style, which was the focus of the room. It was a deep cherry wood finish with high posts and a huge headboard. Surrounding the bed were more bookshelves, built right into the wall.

There was a bay window that looked over onto a meadow and a chaise lounge by the two separate walk-in closets.

Breathtaking.

But maybe that's because Draco was in the room.

That was too tempting.

I flung him against the wall, pressing my body against him. Shuddering in each breath, I leaned in.

That kiss, so hungry, so passionate, so _everything_. Tongues twirling and dancing, as we became each other. Warm, inviting…damn. It was time to consummate this relationship.

_Let me show you baby, I'm a talented boy._

* * *

A/N Thanks for reading! Drop me a review? 


	4. Nothing lasts forever

A/N: Okay, this chapter was extremely hard to write…WARNING! This chapter contains lovin' of a male/male relationship. It also contains violence, gore, and general pissiness. If you choose to read, you do so at your own risk!

Some reference points for the upcoming chapter:

Nightmare: A jet back horse, powered by the forces of Hell. Breath of brimstone and hooves of fire.

Behemoth: A HUGE carnivorous hairy beast with claws the size of man, and teeth the size of…well, let's just say they're bigger than a man.

Titan: A god-like warrior, draw's its weapon (a lightning bolt) from the heavens.

* * *

_Chapter 4_

_4 years ago_

_Voldemort's End_

* * *

During those turbulent times, the Auror Program was accelerated into a two year course, as opposed to the normal three. So much was crammed into every waking moment, and many in my group could not handle the intensity. We had started with a group of 60 witches and wizards, now we were down to only nine.

The precious few.

Those of our original group that did not last continued by teaching what they did know to Order members. Training sessions held deep within bowels of my alma mater prepared others for the upcoming war. Ex DA members assisted in these efforts as well.

Would I have been better prepared to face what was coming if I had the full three years training? I doubt it, as so much was preordained. Funny that it did not work out that way.

It's funny how you are never ready to just _deal_.

I'm getting ahead of myself.

The nine of us, so few, were incredibly close to one another. Draco and I were the only students that had come from Hogwarts. We had 3 students from Beauxbaton's and even one from Durmstrang. The other three were from the American Academy of Alchemy. Mandy, Robert, and Kate were by far the most entertaining of the group. So outspoken and vulgar, they could really put things into perspective.

We had to depend on each other for our lives and trust each other without hesitation. I could only bring myself to do that for one person.

Draco…my universe.

The summer we shared was the most complicated whirlwind of every emotion the human mind can conjure.

_And I want to be safe_

_Not to hurt, or long, or need_

_To have no physicalabilitybodymindsoultype anything._

You would think that would be enough for one person, but not me…and not Draco. Our obsession was _fire_, burning, consuming over everything. And our greed for it just gave it more life.

Our lust seemed tangible. We could grasp it, cling to it, scream for it. His breath against my skin, his intrusion as he thrust into me, the burning passion, and the release. All this bliss recognized for the briefest of moments before we rolled over and started again. We were selfish, and we didn't care.

Confessions of love became a frequent topic, yet each time those words were spoken, I felt like I could die.

But I had to finish school.

Each passing month brought more anxiety and anxiousness. I really wanted this whole thing over with.

I wanted to be back with my friends. Ron and Hermione were engaged, kindly waiting for me to become an Auror before they married. I personally thought they were waiting for the war to be over, but whatever excuse they gave, I accepted. I could live in denial too. Hermione was still with the Ministry, working as an Unmentionable and damn that girl for not telling me what that actually meant! Ron enjoyed a brief career as a strategist for a professional Quidditch team, until Death Eaters began taking advantage of the large crowds and started slaughtering at random. Professional Quidditch was placed on hiatus until times became friendly again. Luna used her journalistic skills to propagate support for the Order.

I never knew them as much as I wanted to, and I yearned for this entire mess to be over and done with.

What's the saying? Be careful what you wish for? Even though I don't recall ever wishing for it, I got it anyway.

* * *

Spies within the Death Eaters brought intelligence to the Order informing them of an upcoming attack. Forces for the Light mobilized at the location of the battle, the hallowed sacred grounds of Hogwarts.

My home.

Because the battle was expected to be "The One", us Auror wanna-be's were summoned as "support" only.

Yeah, right.

We all knew why _I_ was going.

The worried faces around me paled in comparison to the look of sheer terror on Draco's. He was scared, so was I. But every emotion can be turned into anger, just one of the many lessons we learn in our brief education. If turned out to be true.

We apparated just outside of the gates and blended into the masses that were headed towards the castle that had already been emptied of student. Many were there to fight, many were there for safety and many were there for both reasons. We made our way through the front doors and into the Great Hall that was already filled with thousands of people. It was there that I was reunited with old friends.

For a minute moment, we ignored the reason that brought us all together and basked in the glory of each other. How can people change so much in such a short amount of time? I sat amazed at my friends, so adult, so different. It was almost sad, all of us forced to forgo youth for the bigger picture.

I watched as Ron cheerfully greeted Neville. The two had become extremely close, as they were the only two Gryffindor men from our class. Dean Thomas had been killed on our sixth year, and Seamus had become a Death Eater.

We chatted for the lifetime we may not have after that night until an uncomfortable silence surrounded us, reminding us why we were there.

The sound of a wand striking a goblet notified us that it was time.

Time to go to work.

We had been separated into squads, which were then gathered into platoons, which were then grouped into companies, which the formed battalions.

We were legion.

I could only hope that it would be enough.

The days setting sun cast an ominous red hue over the majestically grounds of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

_

* * *

Deep within the bowels of the Forbidden Forest, Aragog and his family of thousands were willing to join the fight. They remained there, in the forest, waiting for their moment._

_The dragons, brought by Order member Charlie Weasley, hovered on the horizon like a thunderous cloud. Their vast wings reverberated through the air, whispering "victory" with every beat._

_From the large rocky outcroppings of the Sahara Desert, Behemoths were recruited following the failure to recruit the Giants. They currently stood on the western edge of the grounds._

_All of these magical creatures were their artillery. The dragons, Behemoths, Titans, Griffins, Thunderbirds and Giant Spiders were there to counterbalance the hordes of monsters that the Death Eaters were sure to bring._

_It was almost time. _

_Headmistress McGonagall concentrated the wards to protect the school itself. So many people were still in that compound ready to lend medical aid or brewing potions. Everyone that had taken refuge within those walls were assisting in their efforts, and it was important to keep them as safe as possible._

_They saw the Dementors first, followed by the earthquake sound of the Giants. Death Eater's started apparating all around the grounds, and the Manitcore's Nightmare's, and Cyclops appeared shortly thereafter._

_The epitome of good and evil faced each other across the landscape. There was no doubt that the Order was outnumbered, but each of them had an independence the other did not. Death Eater's were there because they feared the repercussions of their master. The Order was there because they wanted to be._

_And the battle began._

_He was separated from his friends. Draco, Hermione and Ron with other squads and he did not know where they were. He was still in the school as there was no need for the Boy-Who-Lived at this time. He could hear the sounds of the massacre outside and he imagined every one of them was coming from Draco. He positively itched to get outside._

_He didn't have to wait long._

_He wasn't prepared for what he saw as he crossed the threshold from the Main Hall...into Hell._

_The ground was already littered with so many bodies. Like the Death Eater's, the Order members did not hesitate to use the killing curse, although other spells were used to benefit any situation one might find oneself in. The dark November sky was illuminated from the sheer power of raw magic._

_Behemoth's battled Giants. These two mammoth creatures towered over all others as they ripped each other apart. The ones that had already fallen were hardly recognizable and body part carpeted their arena._

_Titan's battled Cyclops, and while the Titan's gathered their weapon from the Heavens, the Cyclops threw meteor size boulders to crush them. The Titan's would retaliate by incinerating the offenders with their newly formed bolt of lightning._

_And so it was. Griffin's fought the Manticore's, Thunderbirds fought the Nightmares, and the Giant Spiders were assassinating the Death Eater's that were trying to hex the Order members casting their patronus to get rid of the Dementor's._

_It wasn't time for the Dragons yet, they would need them more when Voldemort made his presence known._

_He watched as the Weasley twins fought in perfect unison until one became the bull's-eye of a Death Eater spell. At least it was not green. He saw Luna mauled by a Manticore as Millicent had just missed with her wand and a cry of "Impendimenta". Lavender and Gregory Goyle were dead, trapped beneath a boulder. And there was so much more._

_He ran into the battle, jumping over Ex-Gryffindor Seamus Finnegan, and began hurling spells faster then bullets from a gun. He saw that Remus was about to be overcome and he headed in that direction to save the solitary link to his existence. He concentrated fiercely to remove that threat, and succeeded. But when he turned around to make sure his friend was alright, he discovered he was alone. Remus had been swept up by a Giant and ripped in half._

_He was becoming desperate, wanting to scour the remains to see who else had been taken from him, but he was terrified to do so._

_Hours passed and the battle did not wan, but something was wrong with the Death Eater's._

_They seemed distracted, almost waiting for something that was running late. The remaining Order members took this moment of confusion and quickly gained the upper hand. By this time, most of the Death Eaters had surrendered or disapparated out of the battle._

_And Voldemort never showed up._

_The aftermath of the battle defiled the earth, and a few of the surviving Death Eaters were sobbing about their master that had abandoned them. The Order discovered that the moment that distracted the Death Eaters was the moment that Voldemort was to appear, and he never did._

_Teams were dispatched into the Forbidden Forest to determine if any Death Eaters were hiding, and it was there that he got the surprise of his young life._

_The outcry from the discovering team is what caught the attention of everyone, bringing them to a small clearing within the forest. As he stepped forward and was gifted the full view of the commotion, he passed out._

_For there, drawn and quartered to a group of trees, decapitated, gutted and bound by his own entrails...was Voldemort_

_And he wasn't the one who killed him._

_He awoke in the Hospital Wing, which had been expanded to accommodate the injured, some time later. It was there that he saw his beloved._

_Draco had been burned by a Nightmare and had suffered from many cuts and broken bones. But he was alive._

_He didn't think his own injuries had been severe enough to warrant the look of concern that burned deep within his lover's eyes, but then again he had not seen himself yet._

_Glancing around the cavernous room, his eyes granted him continued relief as he saw Ron and Hermione on a bed not to far from his own. Ron was in the bed itself while Hermione was draped over him, planting small kisses all over his face. It was only when Ron moved to hug Hermione that it was revealed that Ron had lost an arm._

_Wincing slightly, he got out of bed, took Draco's hand and made his way over to his best friends._

_The trio had survived...plus one._

* * *

Recovery had been slow. Those assisting with the medical necessities informed me that I had almost died. I had several deep cuts and life-threatening gashes. A few of my ribs had been shattered with bone fragments precariously close to my heart. I underwent surgery to remove those pieces.

But that was all physical recovery...it was the mental recovery that lasted forever.

Sneaking out of the Hospital Wing, I made my way to the Great Hall. It was that room that housed all the people killed in the war. I entered the room and accepted the somber vision that greeted me.

Bodies, each covered by a white sheet, covered almost every inch of the floor. I began to walk by these empty vessels and looked at the name plates that hovered 4 feet above them. There was some that I did not recognize, some that I recognized by name only. But the others...

_"Bill Weasley"_...defeated by the killing curse.

_"Nymphadora Tonks"_...killed by a spell that caused her heart to explode in her chest.

_"Alaster Moody"_...received the Dementor's Kiss and then trampled by a Giant.

_"Neville Longbottom"_...pushed Hermione out of the way and absorbed the full impact of another killing curse.

So many...

_Luna Lovegood, Gregory Goyle, Justin Finch-Fletchey, Susan Bones, Hannah Abbot, Katie Bell, Oliver Wood, Anthony Goldstein, Parvati Patil, Lavender Brown._

And there were so many more that were not here because they had been so ravished, there was nothing left.

I could feel my soul pounding within me, trying to escape all that anguish.

_I pull out my soul, open the cage door, and set it free_

_And I, am not I_

_Alone, my soul floats up and looks down on me_

_Laughs at it all_

_And promises to be back by dawn._

Something left me in that moment...and I don't think it ever came back.

* * *

Once we had healed enough, Draco and I were allowed to Floo home. Just the comfort of home did wonders for both of us, and Draco and I were anxious to console ourselves with each other.

We didn't even make it to the bedroom. As soon as we tumbled out of the fireplace, he grabbed my shirt and pulled me to him. Our lips collided with a sort of desperation to ensure ourselves we were both _really_ there.

Clothes were torn off as we made our way to the couch. I pushed Draco down and laid on top of him, relishing the feeling of his body heat against me. I attacked with another passionate kiss and shifted slightly so I could run my hand over his chest while my other hand held the back of his neck, locking him into the kiss.

I grabbed his hair, yanking back so I could run my tongue along his neck. At the same time, my other hand had found his hardness and I swirled my thumb around the head.

He was making the most erotic sounds which spurred me on. By this time, Draco was trying furiously to return the pleasure I was giving him, but I stilled his hand and held it above his head. Watching him moan and writhe was enough foreplay for me, but I wanted him to tremble.

I moved my mouth down his chest, licking a nipple and pausing only to offer a flick of the tongue or a small bite. I was still teasing him slowly, but rough enough to understand the urgency. I shifted again, resting between his legs and leaned over to run my tongue up his length. I sucked him slowly, cupping his balls and using my other hand, already wet with pre-cum and saliva, to prepare him.

Draco was covered with a thin sheen of arousal. His whimpering and begging almost sent me over the edge, but I held on. I slipped another finger in while continuing my ministrations to his cock. Timing my finger fucking with my tongue, I slipped one more finger in before I sat up on my knees. I removed my hand, positioned myself at his entrance, and slid in without preamble.

Our knowledge of each other made me able to hit his pleasure point immediately. I was so close, not able to control myself any longer and I plowed into him while I grabbed his shaft and stroked him in unison with my thrusts. We soon exploded. I collapsed on him and as he kissed my forehead, I soon fell asleep.

* * *

After months of reconstruction and remodeling, Hogwarts reopened its doors to students. It was decided that those who perished in the war would forever rest at the one place that they wanted to protect. So a cemetery was consecrated on those magical grounds. The Grand Reopening of the school marked the day that the memorial could be viewed by the public. I, as well as many of my friends, had already visited but I never missed an opportunity to visit it again.

The Auror Program resumed again, but we were now down to only 6. Two of the Beauxbaton students and the one Durmstrang student had died in the war.

There was only two months of the program left and we had already performed beyond any expectation, so we spent one more month wrapping things up before we officially graduated. We would begin our new careers after the summer holidays.

And in all this time, I don't think I spoke more that two words to anybody. They could never understand how confused I was. Why Voldemort was dead when I wasn't the one who killed him. I felt so empty, yet anger filled me.

_So I read a book in my mind, turning each page_

_But all I find are footnotes of rage._

The only good news was that it all seemed to be over. Sure, there were still Death Eaters to capture, but the world was quiet. That was, until Diagon Alley exploded, killing everyone...including the Weasley twins.

Looking back, I realize that I just couldn't handle it...and I snapped.

And Draco received the worst of it.

_I've too much to lose, but I refuse_

_To accept_

_Myself_

* * *

A/N" Ta-da! All those monsters came from my obsession with Hero's of Might and Magic. I would also like to thank Joela for letting me use her "Academy of Alchemy" and my brother who is so generous with his old poetry. Please let me know what you thought? Review? 


	5. Lovers always going

A/N: Sorry for the long delay….

Dedication: To my brother, who loves to brag that his sister writes "gay porn".

Disclaimer: I swear, I'm not JKR….really….

Warning: Um…..more character death….sheepish grin. Sorry.

------------------------

_Chapter 5_

_2 years ago_

_Draco's Departure_

----------

_Ministry Frustrated About "Renegade" Epidemic_

_By: Evaline Pashaw_

_Following the demise of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named and the capture of many of his supporters, the Wizarding World has enjoyed a life of relief. However, the recent explosion in Diagon Alley has alerted the ministry, and its Aurors, to a remaining threat. This threat is not exclusive to a possible rising of a new Dark Lord, but also includes some of our residents taking matters into their own hands._

_The most elusive of these "renegade" witchs or wizards is Mrs. Molly Weasley, widow of ministry employed Arthur Weasley. Her twin sons, Fred and George, died in the Diagon Alley explosion and added themselves to an already long list of deceased family members from the war. After this discovery, the strong-willed, respected member of our community, buckled under the overwhelming grief._

_The last confirmed sighting of Mrs. Weasley occurred during the clean- up effort in Diagon Alley. She was seen holding the charred remains of one of her beloved sons, and witnesses report hearing her mutter "No more" before disapperating from the area. Since then, her crusade to rid the world of evil has the attention of the Ministry, and has forced a desire for her arrest._

_The new focus should not be perceived that the Ministry does not appreciate everyone's effort to maintain peace, it is the method that Mrs. Weasley chooses to impart her justice that has everyone so concerned._

_Her method of judgment is a violent death._

_Her favorite punishment is to make the offender experience the same death that her children and husband suffered. In many examples, Aurors have arrived on the scene and discovered suspected Death Eaters burned from the inside out, or eviscerated. _

_Aurors have been given specific orders to capture Mrs. Weasley at first sight and the Ministry has asked for immediate notification if anyone spots her._

---------

Would you want to get in the way of Molly Weasley? Me neither. Regardless of the fact that she was impossible to capture, to be completely honest, I didn't want to stop her. If the woman who was a mother to me wanted some revenge, I say go get 'em.

But as it turned out, she didn't remain a threat for long.

We were never given full details, and those who did know requested memory charms. All we know is that a package arrived at the Ministry and the announcement was made that the search for Molly Weasley was over.

Only imagination can tell you what might have been in that package.

And I miss her.

_Your laugh, your smile, your gentle touch_

_All these and more I'll crave_

_Thoughts of you are never ending_

_Placing red roses on your grave_

My last memory of her was at Ron and Hermione's wedding reception, about 3 months ago. I was suddenly pulled into a dark room and felt a soft kiss on my forehead as a few hairs were cut from my head. I never saw her, but felt her love surround me as she completed the potion that would allow her to see her son and daughter-in-law without interruption. I stayed in the room for an hour until a brief knock told me she was leaving. After finding Ron, the look on his face spoke every fear in the young man's heart. He knew that would be the last time he would ever see or hear from her again.

I can only hope that she is now with her family that preceded her to heaven, watching over those who remain.

Ron was such an empty shell of his former self, and Hermione was the only thing that brought light to his eyes.

Draco once said that he wished he could do that for me. I laughed in his face.

---------

So what's an Auror to do when the Dark Lord has been vanquished? Why round up all the stupid fuckers trying to take his place of course! I must admit, I loved my job…especially if they "resisted arrest".

Draco and I were not allowed to be partners. The Ministry was afraid that if caught in a tight spot that one of us would do something heroic, like sacrifice our life for the other.

I guess….

Because of this separation, and our varying missions, we didn't get to see each other often. Logic states that we should have appreciated the time we did share, but when did we ever do things logically.

Our arguments became more frequent and more vicious.

You know how people are able to define the moment when sex becomes love? Can you also define the moment when love becomes just sex?

We went from being lost without each other to losing ourselves. Our conversations became tense and short. Simple one-syllable answers were all we had the passion to give. Sex became less than a reward for patching our differences, and became more of a way to just pass the time. Eventually, that too dissolved completely.

And as much as part of me wanted to point the finger at Draco, I knew it was not his fault. Ever since the war, where so many of my friends died, I became jaded. I became everything he used to be although that was never his true personality. I was emotionless, disenchanted, hateful.

I was empty.

And I was taking from Draco to try to fill me.

"Do you remember happiness?"

He asked me once, sounding as if happiness was tangible.

"No, we never met."

That was the day his eyes shut down.

---------

I remember all that lead to the inevitable. I was on assignment with my partner tracking a small Death Eater faction through Spain when I had gotten word that the Dursley's had been killed. Apparating to the house, I saw the remains of the structure that has been my prison for 11 years. Apparently, someone had slipped in during the night and set fire to the residence. Vernon and Dudley, too fat to make a decent escape, burned inside. Aunt Petunia made it out, but the guilty party was so bent on success that they had waited for this possibility.

Aunt Petunia's head was impaled on a broken support beam that remained from that destruction.

The culprit had also engaged a cloaking charm on the house to guarantee the neighborhood was not alerted until the structure was beyond rescue.

And I could not help the smile that spread across my face.

There was nothing left to do, except go back to work despite protests from my boss to take time off.

My partner and I located the group of Death Eaters fairly easily, mainly because they were so disorganized, killing at random and making their presence known in every town they passed. And they even tried to fight back when we finally cornered them.

Which gave me a reason to kill them.

The last one grabbed a muggle child as a hostage. He held her close against him, daring me to make a move, his wand at her head.

"Adficio!"

I screamed a spell designed to temporarily bind magic, trapping it inside the body and rendering a wand useless. He had no way out.

Or so I thought.

Raising my wand, approaching slowly, my desire to remove the child from the equation. Then the bastard jammed his wand into her eye, and through her brain.

Her lifeless body dropped to the ground, and as she fell, I saw every person I ever loved fall with her.

_We can run, but there is no end_

_As we see more darkness descend_

My vengeance was brutal.

Levitating the man 10 feet above the ground, I fired spells to slowly break every bone in his body, then rupture every one of his veins.

Kate requested a new partner after that and I was placed on suspension. My reinstatement was contingent upon seeking "help" by a professional.

Are you kidding me?

---------

In Draco's absence, I spent a lot of time with old friends. Ron and Hermione had moved into The Burrow with the rest of the remaining Weasley's. Walking those hallways, hearing memories echo from the walls resurfaced feelings in me that I thought had been long dead. Add that to the mere company of my two best friends, I almost felt like my old self.

Then Draco came.

He was angry with me, shouting at me as we stepped from into the fireplace to floo home, and continuing his tirade as I wearily sat on the sofa. He was pacing back and forth in front of me, his hands in the air to enunciate some point he was trying to make. Then he stopped, looked directly at me and said,

"Deal with it."

His voice was so cold, reverting me back to our childhood school days. I reacted, jumping up and slamming him into the wall getting perverse satisfaction from hearing his skull thud from the impact.

"Make me" I replied, then spit in his face.

I left him there, stunned, as I made my way into the bedroom.

I fell asleep, and when I woke a few hours later I went searching for him. All I found was a small piece of parchment attached to one of my favorite pictures of the two of us.

"How can I say good-bye when your soul died a long time ago?"

I reread the note while the fierce November storm raged outside.

_I look into the empty sky and scream_

_Please someone, teach me how to dream_

-

-

-

-

A/N The spell "Adficio" I got from the Latin word "drain" and 1, 327 apologies if anyone has used this spell name before. On that note, please review?


	6. Everybody needs some time

A/N: Sorry this took so long to get out, I got to a pivotal point in the story with the last chapter and it took me a while to determine how to continue. Warning for all those who may have stumbled across this story in error and missed all the previous warnings. This story is SLASH…spelled D…O…N…'T…L…I…K…E…D…O…N…'T…R…E…A…D (though, sorry to say, there won't be any of that in this chapter). Also, there will be more character death in this chapter, and anyone who has made it this far in the story will not be surprised. Hey, a story's gotta have consistency, right?

Disclamer: Does anyone else get tired of writing these? "Yes your honor, I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth…I do not own anything in this story and am not making any money from it."

Dedication: As always, to my brother (who is now my beta!), and to Glassesreflect, who not only showed me the support network that exists there, but enticed members to read my story! Three cheers for Glassesreflect!

_Chapter 6_

_1 year ago_

_Destruction _

* * *

Bored is bad. 

Lonely is worse.

Combine the two into one emotion, and you get me.

For a while, I stayed in the house Draco and I shared. I meandered restlessly through each room, almost tiptoeing, not wanting to disturb the energy that once bound him to me. Every dust particle ghosted memories, and I even caught myself smiling at a few of them. I acted as though he was merely sleeping, as if it were a Sunday morning; because I would always tread carefully…tried not to clink glasses or dishes and never swept the silence by turning on the television or radio.

_Red roses you once gave me_

_Lay withered on the ground_

_Signifying the beautiful love_

_Once we had found_

I thought that if I were quiet enough, I would hear him.

I thought that if I were still enough, he would come back.

As it was, I didn't see him until it was too late.

* * *

I was not allowed to return to my career as an Auror despite Hermione's efforts. By then, I had abandoned the house that was supposed to represent the rest of my life. It now sat empty, a reminder of my failure, simultaneously mocking me and begging me to resurrect it. 

Predictably, I moved in with Ron and Hermione

Predictably, Hermione was pregnant.

She was still working of course, so I stayed at home with Ron, who had already resigned himself to play the roll of stay at home dad. Honestly. Ron and I were pretty pathetic. Yes, we did the constant rehashing of "good ole school days", even high-fived a few of these stories…sheesh.

Charlie was hardly ever there and Ginny was seen even less. She had withdrawn into herself, so much so that on days that we knew she was there, we would always find her in her parent's bedroom.

She revived her spirit once, for me. She kissed me softly and sweetly on the cheek.

"Remember me this way."

Then she ceased, going back to nothingness. Her spirit remained hidden from then on.

We would wait patiently for Hermione to come home, and after she would shake her head at us, we would sit down for dinner and Ron would dote on her every need.

* * *

After a few weeks, Hermione started dropping hints about me getting a new job, finally resorting to point blank asking me, since I would conveniently never pick up on her "hints". She proposed several options: 

"Perhaps another department within the ministry, or maybe something in New Diagon Alley? You know, they always need help at Hogwarts"

Really, she was quite cute. How could I say no to that face?

So became my quest for the "day job"

I attempted New Diagon Alley first and tried my hand at several retail shops. Sales didn't go well since most of the merchandise had my picture on it. It was a little creepy.

I even tried Gringotts…let's just say that after I made the inquiry, I backed out slowly, not wanted the looks I got from the goblins to turn into anything physical.

I reviewed my options for the Ministry, only desiring something that would not risk a chance encounter with Draco. In my mind, I was doing this to lesson the punishment on myself, but in reality I didn't want to punish him.

There were a few possibilities, but it seems no one had forgotten my "incident", and therefore would not even grant me an interview.

Did they honestly think that I would flip out and suddenly see Death Eaters instead of their faces?

Apparently.

After all this, I was left with one option, unless I wanted to try something in the Muggle world.

Hogwarts, here I come.

Now, some would say that Hogwarts should have been my first choice, and I agree, but I knew that it would be too easy.

I was right.

I immediately received several offers for positions from Headmistress McGonangall, each glamorous and prestigious, but in the end I asked for the long vacant gamekeeper job. Even though I could never restore the school back to it's original opulence since there were just too many whispers to the past, too many specters of anguish, I did try to create the illusion of the fairy tale that once saved a boy from a life of torment and loss.

It was here, at the threshold of the Forbidden Forest, that I had an appalling revelation.

I had always loved Hagrid, simply for what he was; a gentle man. But during my years at Hogwarts, even I found myself wondering the reasons he loved all creatures, regardless of what purpose they served or how many ways they could hurt or kill him. At first, the revelation began with the simple epiphany that all these creatures never _did_ hurt or kill him, then the second part hit.

He was a lonely man.

A lonely man; comforted by any sign of life that would acknowledge him as a fellow being of existence. The appreciation for what these monstrous creatures had to offer guaranteed him safety among them.

I wasn't quite there yet, but I was close.

_Let me fly up and fly above, or below_

_Anywhere but here_

_Not to be someone else_

_But to be no one else_

* * *

Summer quickly gave way to autumn, and the start to a new school year. 

I kept myself busy, mentally aware that I was approaching one year since I had seen or heard from Draco.

I knew that Draco was working with Hermione on developing a new spell. I never asked her if he mentioned me, or showed any regret, because I didn't want to know. I took comfort in Hermione's presence with him, because that fact alone proved that he was never far away.

I was awarded a lot of time to reflect on my life…choice, paths, mistakes. Each one dissected and rewritten to suit my own ego.

Life is a perpetual yesterday, made of moments…not minutes.

Think about it. How many of us try to correct or change something that has already shaped our destiny? Set the record straight? Clear up misunderstandings? Rewrite history.

And I yearned for him.

_Love takes a toll that belittles the soul_

_And whittles away at the mind_

_Desires of the heart, unwittingly take part_

_In the universal wish to be bind._

By choice, I existed strictly solitarily. I only entertained visits from Rom, Hermione, and occasionally Headmistress McGonagall. More often than not, days would pass that would not see or speak to another person.

It's true what they say. People who live alone talk to themselves…a lot. Maybe it is some inbred need that we crave a human voice, and have to settle for our own. Even if it's just to reassure ourselves that we _are_ here.

* * *

It was announced one day that the wizarding world was being exterminated. Whether the work of one or many, wizard towns across the globe were infiltrated and leveled to the ground. Durmstrang no longer stood overlooking the glacier mountains, it was not attacked, it was just gone one day. Beauxbatons, at first just seems deserted, but when investigated all the students and faculty were found dead, mummified by time, their faces frozen with pain. 

Pictures provided in the Daily Post revealed the utter destruction for our identity. It seems no one was immune, including the "purebloods".

Hogsmeade…gone

Riddle's house, grave and neighborhood…gone

Godric's Hollow…gone

The Malfoy Manor…gone…along with Draco's mother.

And with this, I only saw the possibility of Draco returning to me, I never glanced at the tragedy.

Of course Draco had long severed his ties to that place, that name, that expectation. Still, loss is loss.

But he did not reach out to me.

By now, I was over the "selfreflection" bit and getting a little irritated. But I never made a move, having convinced myself that he was the one who left, he had to be the one to come back.

I refused to go get him.

As entire generations were annihilated, those left began a great pilgrimage to London to be closer to the remaining icons of magic…The Ministry…and Hogwarts.

All those people came.

Like lambs to a slaughter.

* * *

I was told it all happened very suddenly. 

_The Ministry, ordained as the International Headquarters, housed any remaining officials from other countries. These leaders met regularly in their posh offices, delegating, officiating, feeling important, feeling helpless. For truth be told, there wasn't anything they could do._

_It was a hotbed of activity. Survivors arriving to tell their tales, Auror's leaving and not always returning, Medi-staff doing what they could. Everyone was busy._

_Distracted._

_It was subtle at first, the fires for the Floo System slowly extinguished, only to reignite in flames of brilliant green. Critical survivors quietly stopped breathing and cauldrons filled with various salvations turned rank and sour._

_Yet through this no one notices, still too absorbed in their own chaos._

_Those in the main hallway were attacked first. The emerald flames raged inside their containment and hurled balls of green light at those finally starting to notice._

_Bursts of green light illuminated the hallway, echoes of which highlighted those unable to run fast enough to escape the light. The light that haunts his dreams, the light that even his closed eyes cannot block._

_The awe-inspiring statues that once offered protection from evil, now found a new master as they thundered through the building. Crushing ,pounding, breaking, killing._

_Wizards and witches, reaching for their wands, found them missing and left them defenseless against the poltergeist activity of objects launching through the air and the shards of glass from broken windows or mirrors slicing through their flesh._

_Many of them fled, realizing heroics would be useless, and suicidal._

_Then the attack really began._

_A gradual rumble traveled through the building, ripping ceilings and cracking walls. Floors began to collapse, condensing the many leveled building into one._

_He arrived on the scene too late, and searched for those he loved._

_He could not find any._

You would think that one would be used to that by now, but the mind will never become immune to death.

We took the injured back to Hogwarts, and it was there that I learned that Draco had not been inside the Ministry. The project that he and Hermione had been working on was cancelled a few weeks before and he had been sent on an assignment since the Ministry was so short on trained Auror's.

To this day, I don't know if I found relief in that news.

I returned once again to "ground zero" and resumed my search for life. A few others were frantically searching for family, and I paused for a moment, somewhat jealous that they had family to look for.

Then it occurred to me.

I had seen Ron sporadically during the clean up, never giving him more than a passing glance. This time I sought him out.

He was concentrating on one focus, and did not immediately acknowledge my presence. Tears trickled down his face as he whispered "please" in rapid succession.

In the end, it was all in vain.

For as the November sun set,

Hermione had not been found.

_There is a definition in life;_

_One of love, courage and sacrifice_

_Loves that are lost_

_Courage of the heart_

_And sacrifices that are taken_

* * *

A/N: Thanks for reading! Please leave a review and tell me what you think? 

**Starlollie: **You can thank my brother for the Molly rampage…though I have to agree, the woman is awesome. Glad you like it and please keep reading!

**Baby Chaos:** Thanks for the review! I love dark!Harry stories, and love insane!Harry even more. Seriously, how much can a person take, right? As for my brother…yes he is older. I passed on the compliment for his poetry and he appreciated it. Hope you enjoy this chapter as well! Cheers for now luv.

**Xikum:** Thank you for the review! As you can see, it did not end. Ask, and you shall receive.

**Silver Emerald Eyes:** Looooooool! Loved the review you gorgeous thing you! Sorry I could not make it out for Christmas, but better late then never, eh? The cookie dough ice cream was tremendous for my creativity though. Thanks for much for the phenomenal words! sends double mint fudge ice cream back atcha!

**Forever-yours666:** First, love the pen name…Secondly, I appreciated the review so much! Yours was the first review after the "flame" and it made me glow. Thanks for making a fellow slasher feel on top of the world.

**StarlitRena:** Ah, my first reviewer…a special place in my heart has been assigned to you! I hope you are still with the story and still enjoying it!


	7. Never mind the darkness

A/N Sorry for the delay in posting, I am making a huge effort to try to get future chapters out sooner rather then later. Thank you to my reviewers! You are such an inspiration, and so appreciated. Thank you, thank you, and thank you!

As usual, more upsetting and depressing things in this chapter…like death. But there might be some good news…

Enjoy!

* * *

_Chapter 7_

_6 months ago_

_Great Un-Expectations_

_

* * *

Desolate, soulless, the structure sat in its rocky isolation and the unforgiving moon kept it bathed in ghostly daylight. If one were to listen closely enough, they could hear the howls of redemption. If one were to care enough, they could notice the unbearable suffering begging for release, any release. For even Hell had to be better than Azkaban Prison._

_The Dementors had returned after the defeat of their master, and the Ministry allowed the foul beasts to watch over the even fouler beasts. But they disappeared. The only evidence that proved their authenticity were the pools of black hooded cloaks left behind. The explanation was that someone, something, had evaporated them. Fizzled them out of existence._

_Then the true deviousness of the Ministry was revealed when they were forced to arrange for a suitable replacement._

_It was a fact. There were few wizards and witches left, and the Ministry had to arrive at a solution that eliminated all "hands on" requirements. This solution, comprised of a complex combination of spells and charms circled the compound, keeping the prisoners secured and alive. Alive, without food, water, or free will._

_Those responsible for the destruction of humanity now reaped its benefits and redefined their definition of evil and torment. It was because of this, that the Armageddon that rained down from the sky one day, was a welcome sight._

_Boulders hurled from the sky, pouring fire and destruction on the only place that didn't care, and efficiently eliminated the atrocity that the Ministry had created. A lone island is all that remains; yet the sun still does not shine. Choosing instead to hold its reverence for places that are not earth's dirty little secret._

Somehow this attack did not affect me as much as the other ones. Azkaban Prison was the place "swept under the carpet", the people there already dismissed as dead.

But it was another representation of our world, destroyed.

Who hates us this much?

* * *

When faced with mortality, we all examine life itself, cling to it. I began where all begin…photographs.

Photographs are taken to preserve a perfect moment, whether it is happiness, joy, surprise, or love. We steal the soul of these moments and hold them hostage for our own selfish confirmation that these moments of unbridled, unconditional purity _did_ happen.

And yet, we only seem to bask in their glory in moments of sadness. We taint them with our weakness, our desperation to have that perfect moment again.

We only look at them when we need to punish ourselves.

I let their souls stab me with the pain of regret, remind me of what I had forgotten, and reintroduce the fact that I was…at some point…happy.

I spent hours gazing at the portraits of Ron's family. I watched as Mrs. Weasley tried to reach past the frame to touch my cheek. I watched as the twins tried to keep up their prankster façade, but unable to hide the sadness in their eyes. And I watched the entire family portrait portray the happiness and love that defined them.

_I'm not at the bottom_

_I'm not at the top_

_But this is the stair_

_Where I always stop_

So much darkness had crept into the Burrow, but there was a magnificent light at the end of this tunnel.

Hermione.

By the grace of whatever otherworldly beings, she was found on the second day of the search and cleanup effort of what was once known as the Ministry of Magic. Her injuries were severe, but not severe enough to keep her incapacitated for a significant amount of time.

But nothing is without a price.

Hermione had lost her baby.

A loss of that magnitude will shatter anyone's resilience, and Hermione was no exception. Ron was torn between the miracle that Hermione was alive, and his heart breaking at the loss of his baby girl. Together, they struggled to overcome their anguish and became closer then ever before. They were rarely without each other's company, however, that dependency was unrealistic and they would inevitably need to separate for a short time. Hermione would station herself at the window and patiently wait for his return, and I would either sit with her in silence or we would talk about anything, everything.

Once, while making my way to the kitchen to fetch some tea for our afternoon, I heard a whisper float by.

"Tell them…she's with me."

I turned towards the voice, looking at the matriarch of my second family.

"Tell them…she's with all of us."

I felt my breath hitch.

"Tell them how beautiful she is, and that she's here…safe…waiting to meet them."

I felt tears breach the rim and flow freely. I nodded my head, promised to deliver the message, and thanked her before continuing on my original path.

It was later in the evening, when we will all sitting in the garden that I told them.

_Let me leave_

_And watch it all _

_From afar_

_Where I am safe_

After a few months, Hermione stepped back into the world by accepting Minerva McGonagall's offer to help out at Hogwarts.

Hogwarts was no longer a school, but more of a safe house for witches and wizards who had no place else to go. Hermione worked with potions, since they were still essential to the remaining objectives our kind still had. She found peace there, finding comfort in the solitude of the dungeons. Weeks went by seamlessly, enjoying the regimentation.

Until that day when I walked through the door and knew something was wrong.

* * *

I found Ron in the living room, unresponsive to my confusion and concern. He looked as if he were staring into the unbelievable, trying to make sense of the undeniable. I abandoned my attempt and went in search of Hermione.

I found her in their bedroom.

She approached me as I entered the room, shutting the door behind me, and I saw a sinister smile playing around her mouth. I knew whatever had happened was a milestone, and thankfully not bad news. I cocked my head in query, anxious to hear the story. She leaned over and whispered in my ear,

"I want to show you"

She walked me over to the pensieve sitting on her dresser, and pulled me in.

* * *

I recognized the halls of Hogwarts immediately, regardless of the absence of colors from the pensieve's memory. We quickly detoured into a darkened room and came to a stop behind the Memory Hermione, who was focused on a cauldron in front of her.

The Real Hermione leaned over and explained that she had been working on improving different potions, combining them to serve multiple purposes. She had been perfecting a potion that would allow the drinker to see spells, enchantments. One could see if wards protected something, or tell if someone was under the Impervious Curse, or see if someone were hiding under the guise of the Polyjuice potion.

A screech of triumph erupted from Memory Hermione and a grin graced her face, announcing that her efforts had been a success. She ladled a small amount of the potion, swallowed it down, and looked around the room. Her grin grew wider as she passed herself on the final test. The truly amazing thing was I could see the reflection of the magic she could now see, swirling in her eyes. She was so proud of herself, allowing a full smile to spread across her face, a sight that wrapped around my heart. I turned toward the Real Hermione, thinking that while this was all great, was this what she wanted to show me?

The look on her face told me it wasn't.

Memory Hermione ladled more of the potion into a bottle and secured it with a cork. She ran from the room, a noticeable glee in her step, ready to show her mentor her prize and receive the adulation that her child within still needed.

I started to follow, but was stopped before I could make a step. I turned to the Real Hermione and saw how her face had transformed from how it looked in her bedroom. I gathered that events were about to take a wrong turn.

Hermione seemed as if she were trying to prepare herself for what was coming, finally she faced me squarely with her patent determination, and we left the room.

We walked slowly down the hallway and Hermione spoke,

"I never told you this, actually I never told anyone, how much I idolized Minerva….I mean Professor McGonagall."

I didn't say anything, but we all kinda knew this already.

"She was everything that mattered. Tough, smart, brave, she always commanded attention. Seriously Harry, anyone who could dole out punishment to your charm was an ace in my book. Back in the early years, she and I would talk for hours, my admiration growing every minute. If you can believe this, I used to try and fashion my hair in a bun…well, you can imagine how well that went."

I shared in her uneasy laughter before asking if we were walking to slow and would miss the point of this show and tell.

"No, I ran into Millicent first."

We walked a bit more before coming to a stop at McGonagall's office. We arrived just in time to see Memory Hermione burst through the door….and scream.

I rushed forward; glancing back at the Real Hermione who stayed put, but encouraged me to continue inside.

I stepped over the threshold, and buckled at the sight before me.

There were two Hermiones. One, Memory Hermione, was standing just opposite the door. Another Hermione was yanking a knife out of Professor McGonagall's throat, delighting in the arterial spray that showered her.

It was the last moment of McGonagall's life, infused with a look of betrayal and shock.

"I could see who it really was, you know, because of the potion. She didn't know. She thought it was me."

The Real Hermione had stepped up beside me, and maneuvered her ice-cold hand into mine. Her grip was fierce; I could feel the hate coursing through her fingertips, pulsing with every heartbeat.

The Hermione holding the knife turned towards Memory Hermione, grinning wickedly…and began to change.

The metamorphosis altered the bushy brown hair to blonde; she grew taller and stockier, and transformed until what was standing before me was a ghost.

Lucius Malfoy.

And I said ghost because he was supposed to be dead.

What was ironic was that he had been killed so many times. Being such a vital part of the Death Eater regime, he often had flunkies drink Polyjuice to act as look-a-likes. So why was I surprised?

Because I really thought he had died in the war.

It was never in his nature to bide his time, so where had he been? Was he responsible for the Ministry? Was he the answer for all of our problems?

I glanced back at the Real Hermione and saw that sinister smile again.

The show was about to begin.

Lucius began to approach Memory Hermione, blabbing on and on about how Voldemort never had any true power, being a mudblood. I wasn't paying any attention, I was focused on Memory Hermione, who looked more enraged then had ever been registered as humanly possible.

Lucius was too self-absorbed to notice the breeze swirling about, ripping strength from the hallowed halls of Hogwarts. He didn't notice how the torch flames shot up, then extinguished. He didn't notice the air become so cold, as if something were drawing the very essence of it. He didn't notice the sparks of electricity that crackled from her fingers to the floor.

Memory Hermione was looking down, portraying in Lucius's mind a very meek opponent. Her robes billowed and whipped in the wind, and the light in the room diminished, spreading its death into the hallway and presumably throughout the castle.

I was on the edge of my seat.

Lucius stopped in front of his prey, pleased that she appeared to cower before him. He loomed over her.

"You know, my wife has been dead for quite some time and I haven't been able to get my satisfaction as often as I would like. It's a good thing that you are no longer contaminated with that tainted baby."

He started to reach over and grab her chin, but before his hand could touch her, she jerked her head up and flung him across the room. Just with that simple motion, Lucius sailed by and slammed into the wall.

His eyes were wide with shock...so were mine.

Her soft brown eyes were black now, hijacked by fury and power. She him pinned against the wall just with the force of her will, pushing him harder against the cold surface, making the wall crack around him.

She began to advance on him.

"Everyone is always so afraid and concerned about the Boy Who Lived. What he's doing, where he's been." She spat at him.

Small cuts appeared on Lucius's skin, peeling back, separating flesh from muscle.

"No one ever pays attention to the mudblood. Didn't think I was a threat? Do I have your attention now?

She reached her destination, only inches away from him.

"This is for touching Minerva!"

His fingernails ripped off, one by one.

"This is for looking at Minerva!"

His eyelids tore away.

"This is for speaking to Minerva"

His tongue was shredded and fleshy meat dropped from his mouth to the floor.

She let him suffer with the wounds for a while, until his screams minimized to incoherent moans and he bordered on unconscious. Her hand swept over him, repairing him, bringing him back from the brink. She leaned in, inhaling his fear,

"I don't want you to miss a moment of this." She seethed.

The Real Hermione had moved herself between the two, obviously wanting to relive this moment, and smiled self-satisfactorily as Memory Hermione slowly brought her hands up and circled Lucius's throat. She slowly, methodically, _physically_ choked the life out of him, never leaving his sight until his sight died with the rest of him and he dropped ungraciously to the floor.

"I do hope this lesson has been as educational for you as it was for me. Enjoy your new home in Hell."

All of us stared at the corpse, unblinking, until Memory Hermione incinerated his body with a wink of her eye. It was a shout from the doorway that finally drew our gaze away.

Ron had rushed into the room; meaning only to investigate the reason the castle was draining energy. He grabbed Memory Hermione and checked her for injuries; it took him a moment to notice the other guests in the room.

He walked over to McGonagall, crossed her arms over her chest and reverently closed her eyes. Lucius was barely recognizable in the blaze, but Ron made his first educated guess, mainly due to the presence of the serpent tipped cane against the wall. He focused back on his wife, unsure of what happened but knowing it was over now.

She was still highly charged, unable to release all the power she had imbued. She looked back down at the floor,

"Do you still love me?"

Ron ran to her, drawing her close, rocking her back and forth.

"Now more then ever."

Both Hermiones wept. Memory Hermione, anchored by her love, slowly let go of the magic, slowly returned. The Real Hermione watched the scene from the security of my arms.

"Time to go."

And with a flash we were back in her bedroom.

Her wide eyes searched mine for a reflection of the pride she felt, she found what she was looking for and smiled. I stroked her cheek,

"I knew you would discover what you were capable of."

She giggled and flung herself into my arms.

* * *

I escorted her through the house, talking about what I had witnessed. We were making our way to join Ron; he was so confused and really needed the full story. We had just rounded the corner into the kitchen to walk through the other side to the living room, when we were halted by a knock on the door.

"Harry, it's me."

_When you look into my eyes_

_I hope you see_

_The gentle cry_

_Of a broken hearts plea_

* * *

A/N Thanks for reading, please leave a review?

**Lauren:** Thank you for the review! I am glad that you are able to feel what Harry is going through, it means that I am doing my job properly. Please keep reading and enjoying.

**Galynsolo:** Work of art! Like reading poetry! Thank you so much! I am so glad that you are enjoying it, and even more glad that you left me a wonderful review. As for the happy ending, all I can promise is that it will be astonishing.

**Silver Emerald Eyes:** psst…I actually reread your reviews because they always make me smile; you are too good to me. And good use of the word intoxicating! Thank you for the adoration for my brother; he adores you for saying it! He helps me a lot with plot development, so he is pretty adorable. Thank you so much for the ever-encouraging reviews, they really keep me going!

**Starlollie:** Did you see that? How I snuck part of your review into the chapter? You were right, I really needed to give this poor guy some good news. I do seem to put him through the ringer…but please keep reading, you are my moral compass…and I promise the end will be worth it!

**Hpstoryguy:** Glad you love the story…sorry it made you cry. Please keep reading? Just remember to bring the tissues…

**SilentSleepingInTheCold:** Thank you for the review!

**R.mai: **Glad you are interested in the story, sorry about the confusion and even more sorry about all the sadness. No "in the present" interaction yet, but I promise it is coming!

**Beth5572:** Thank you for the review! I hope you enjoyed this chapter as much as the others!

**Kilikapele:** All the chapters in one go! I'm astonished, honored and pleased! Thank you! Sorry you had to wait so long for this one, I will try to get the next one out faster. I am so glad that my story found you, and I truly thank you for the amazing review!


	8. We still can find a way

A/N: Sorry that this took longer than I expected…life stuff, you know? The good news is that it's finally here, and that wonderful warning of slash comes back into play! No good steamy details though, playing it safe with it just me, or are their rules getting out of hand?

More good news you say? There is NO CHARACTER DEATH in this chapter! Can I get a woot woot!

Disclaimer: So that there is no confusion...these characters DO NOT belong to me, they belong to JKR. I would never presume to have her gift for the written word.

* * *

_Chapter 8_

_Introductions_

_3 months ago_

* * *

Yes, it was Draco. 

And I stood there like an idiot, unable to move.

As so many people do when faced with this type of situation, I was over-analyzing.

Why was he here? What if he wasn't here for me? What if he _was_ here for me? What does he want? Why now? What will he say? What will _I _say? I ran through each scenario, articulating my responses with the perfected art of internal dialogue.

My heartbeat was rapidly accelerating. God help me, but, I was actually nervous.

Hermione was watching me, waiting for me to do what was expected in polite circles…open the door.

Honestly, I could not be bothered with such intricacies.

About the time my brain made the connection that I would not be able to deliver any of my practiced speeches unless Draco was actually invited in, Hermione gave up waiting. With a roll of her eyes, she reached over and opened the door.

I couldn't breathe.

_I stand_

_My skin, dipped in dew_

_My heart, the wings of a hummingbird_

_With expressions of innocence_

_I speak_

* * *

Why do things move in slow motion in moments of great anticipation? My lungs were burning with trapped air, my heart was pounding, and that damn door took its sweet selfish time to reveal its prize. 

Finally, I saw him.

Hermione rushed forward, throwing herself into him and wrapping her arms around him. He responded warmly, returning the affection.

When they broke apart, Hermione glanced my way, mumbled something about checking on Ron, and scurried out of the kitchen.

Draco and I were alone.

And I was still standing there like an idiot.

He cautiously approached me, looking equally awkward, unsure what to do or say next. But like all great loves do, we spontaneously and simultaneously pulled each other into an embrace.

They say it's the small things that matter. That proved to be true when such a simple act confirmed my need for him. All humans _do_ crave companionship, to find that one person who not only exists in your heart…but _becomes_ your heart.

Why did I let this go? How can I get it back?

As much as I wished we could skip all the hard parts; the rebuilding of trust, the discussion of the dissolution of our relationship, the confrontation of how I failed him. So much to review and so many details to scrutinize, so much blame on me and my actions…could he pretend it all didn't happen?

It would have been nice, but I knew that he would not let me off the hook that easily.

I understood.

Now was as good a time as any.

After a brief "hello" to Ron and a nod to Hermione, we migrated outdoors to get some air, get some explanations…get through the hard parts. We settled on the ground, not too far way from each other, but far enough to know there is still distance.

"What happened to you Harry?"

What kind of question is that? Should I make a list? Where should I start?

It was as if he could read my mind.

"You know what I mean."

Yeah…I did. I just wasn't ready to jump into that shame spiral quite yet. I had my reasons for my behavior, ones that I felt very self-righteous about, but I knew that I had no justification for my actions or attitude. How do you articulate _that_?

How do you explain the feeling that you no longer have a soul because everything and everyone that made you who you are is gone? How do you paint a picture of steadfastness in the face of adversity only to have it fragment because you can't handle it, then having to fake it for everyone else?

How do you say all this and not make it sound like excuses?

I took a deep breath and began.

I told him how scared I was at the pleasure of seeing my aunt's family murdered.

I told him how shattered I was at seeing all my father's friends ripped away from me, taking him farther away from me.

I told him how furious I was at the Ministry for suspending me after the brutal treatment of a Death Eater. If anyone deserved it, they did.

I told him how confused I was, to the point where I could not organize my thoughts and emotions because things were happening too fast.

Then I dropped the bombshell.

I told him how unnecessary it had all been. The prophecy that bound me to Voldemort was not true. He's dead, I did not kill him, so what was the point of all of it? All those people gave their lives for a prophetic moment that never came.

My monologue ended with the statement of how undeserving I was…to have all those people lay down their lives for mine.

He smiled.

Not the reaction I expected.

"How did I know you were going to say that Harry? You have always been so quick to blame yourself. Events would have transpired the same, regardless of your involvement. Is your ego that huge to think that Voldemort's actions were because of you? That if you were never a part of the picture, he would have never tried to rule our world?"

Maybe he had a point. Not that I would ever admit that to him.

"Look at all the destruction he caused before you and that prophecy came along. Voldemort is dead, so what if you didn't kill him.Numerous people forfeited their lives for a better world, and you choose to remember them not by their bravery and self-sacrifice, but by feeling sorry for yourself? You think you are undeserving? I would have to agree, you don't deserve to grieve for those people if all you are going to do is make it all about _you_."

I was using every ounce of restraint not to punch him…again. I could feel the flush of anger in my cheeks and I knew that my eyes were flashing dangerously as fury boiled inside me. This was not the way it was supposed to go!

Suddenly, he grabbed my face, looked deep in my eyes, and smiled.

"There you are."

He leaned in, brushing his lips against mine.

Happiness and I met for the first time that night.

_A perfect flower he gave me on the day we met_

_In a perfect pose_

_Its leaves and petals are still wet with scent_

_One perfect rose_

* * *

For a while, things were good. 

_Too_ good.

Draco and I spent a lot of time talking, there had been so much to discuss. We yelled a lot, cried a lot, laughed a lot…until we could no longer hold back.

We rediscovered each other, became acquainted with the people we had become.

But his skin still felt the same.

We let our immaturity resurface, allowing ourselves to act the age we really were. We held hands under the table, made each other blush and giggle by whispering promised of sensations to come. We indulged in fantasies such as dark chocolate slowly devoured on wanton flesh, and any other kinky thing that the imagination would conjure.

Now, we were not completely introverted. Draco and Hermione had a special friendship, the kind that is born from years of intellectual rivalry and the acceptance of the other's talents. His first conversation with her offered his sympathy for her loss, and his pleasure for the disposal of his father. Together, the four of us spent countless time enjoying each other in a way that we had been unable to before, and may not be able to do again.

It was during one of our marathon conversations that we made a command decision.

_We must turn and face_

_Our nightmarish fears_

_There is no reason to scream_

_There is no one who hears_

* * *

We decided to recreate and conserve our world. 

So much was lost when the Ministry collapsed, and the absence of so much of our culture forced us to take steps to insure that a part of this world would survive.

It was a brutal reality to face, but it was a reality.

If things continued on their path, and the wizarding world was officially expunged, something had to be left behind to tell our tale.

Simply put, someone may be completely successful at killing every single living witch and wizard, but _no one_ can stop evolution. Someday, another person will be born with those special attributes and recessive genes that normally would have warranted an invitation to join the club.

But the club may no longer be there.

So the call went out to all whom would answer.

* * *

The remaining Hogwarts alumni convened at the school itself, and got to work immediately. 

Representatives from each house were responsible for their founder's history. They poured over the depleted resources in the school library and recorded as many important details as possible.

Specialists of certain subjects worked diligently to create textbooks for possible future generations.

Draco compiled potion recipes, lists on how to identify their ingredients, and storage and maintenance of the completed product. Additionally, he inscribed instructions for various charms and spells, from wand movements to pronunciation. He would not accept any help on this project, choosing to work alone, that way he could monitor which spells and charms carried over. Some spells are better left forgotten.

Hermione was overextended, working on Ancient Runes, Arithmancy and Astronomy. She was the one to make the list alphabetical and start from the top. The rest of us just took what we were good at.

Crabbe assumed Herbology, taking photographs of the greenhouses and the plants they enclosed. He carefully described each plant with their properties and benefits, and how to handle the more volatile ones.

Millicent formulated a dossier on all the magical creatures and how to care for them. Even Charlie Weasley appeared briefly to offer information on dragons.

Ron would never let a new generation to exist without Quidditch, so he enthusiastically drafted parchment after parchment on broom maneuvers, strategy tips and the rules of the game. He included the history of the game and names of the more famous players. And because it fit in with the topic, he also covered how to fly a broom. This he did begrudgingly after Hermione pointed out that no one will play Quidditch unless they know how to fly a broom.

Naturally, I took Defense Against the Dark Arts.

My favorite part was when the "Golden Trio" cataloged all of our exploits…happy to horrible. However, whether our more amusing adventures acts as an encouragement or a deterrent, remains to be seen.

All of us who thus far survived made every effort to certify our legacy, to pledge that our voices will be heard, someday.

Hopefully.

_A dream is an illusion that we are given when born_

_We live in happiness, knowing nothing of scorn_

_If only we could find that lost salvation_

_And wake up from this nightmare of extermination_

* * *

After a month of intense work, we looked at the fruits of our labor and enjoyed a moment of celebration. We even allowed a small seed of hope to bury itself into our dismal future. 

We gathered it all, and went in search of the perfect locale. We picked a spot in muggle London, close to New Diagon Alley, to conceal our treasure. Included with all the knowledge we possessed, we placed brooms, wands, pranks, robes, the latest copy of the Daily Prophet, preserved candies, currency, our house flags and the school banner.

At the last second, Hermione threw in her copy of "Hogwarts, a History".

The cleverest witch of our age placed a series of spells to affirm that the right person would find the cache. As I understand it, if someone who carries the wizard gene happens to be within a one-mile radius of that spot, they will hear the sweet song of the phoenix. That melody will draw them to our past and their future. Hopefully, they will use that information to reintroduce the magical world.

It was all we could do.

Only time would tell.

One thing is for certain; it was wise that we did what we did when we did it.

Things went from bad to worse.

_The fear in everyone_

_Clearly shows_

_For evil is coming_

_And everyone knows_

* * *

A/N: Don't think I am going soft…there will be loads more angst in the next chapter. I was just feeling benevolent and decided to give some people a stay of execution. 

Thank you for reading, please let me know your thoughts by leaving a review?

**Starlollie**: Yay! You're back! I was afraid I lost you…crisis adverted. I wrote this chapter almost exclusively for you, lots and lots of good news. Actually, it's more of a peace offering, since things are likely to turn ugly again. Thank you for always pointing out specific things that you enjoy! Can I admit that I cried when I wrote that part with Mrs. Weasley? Well, I guess I just did…thank you again for all your help and wonderful reviews!

**Silver Emerald Eyes**: I could be corny and provide two separate responses to your two separate reviews…but I didn't.

Part 1: Seeing that I got a second review, I assumed that you survived your tennis lesson with sleep. As much as I hate to contribute to the delinquency of anyone, part of me was quite gleeful that you sacrificed your sleep for me…wait…did I say I hate to contribute to delinquency? Scratch that…

As for my brother, he is older…three years to be exact. While I think he would be brilliant at writing a story of his own (he has fantastic ideas), he really REALLY likes being "backstage" and helping me with mine. Aren't I lucky?

Part 2: To be honest, my Hermione scared the crap out of me, but remember my brilliant brother? It was all his idea, but necessary in character development for something that will play out later. People say to watch out for the quite ones, and in this case it is certainly true.

And look! My update only took over a month this time! Raise the roof for me!

P.S. You can ask as many questions as you like, for you I will answer as many as I can. Thank you for being a constant source of sunlight for me!

**Morniea Inglorion**: Thank you very much for your delightful review! Your wonderful words about my writing are really appreciated, and I hope you continue to read more.

**Dragenphly**: Oh no! Never happy again! Please tell me the feeling was temporary! While a part of me is flattered that the story has such an impact on you, I feel terrible of you had even a moment of prolonged sadness. As for Harry and Draco ending up together….ummmm…I am going to cop out and say that you will have to wait and see. Also, it's a sneaky way to keep you reading….

**Charmina**: I am still beaming from your review! Thank you so much for your words of praise and I am honored that you are enjoying the story. What makes it so lovely is that I have read your work, and to get a compliment from you is truly wonderful!

The poems? Mostly they are my brothers…about 85 percent. The good ones are his and the crappy ones are mine. I hope you enjoy this chapter as well and that you continue to enjoy the rest of the story.


	9. No one left to blame

A/N: I had this great plan of updating sooner then this…you can see how well that went. But in my defense I just couldn't make this chapter work! Believe me when I say that I _was_ writing, just didn't like the product that ended up on paper…yuck. Anyway, I feel better about this compilation then I did about any other. Hope that everyone reading it will enjoy it.

CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT WE ONLY HAVE 8 MORE DAYS!

Warning: Character death is back…with a vengeance. Sometimes I really wonder if there is something wrong with me…

Disclamer: Does anyone else get tired of writing these? "Yes your honor, I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth…I do not own anything in this story (but the plot) and am not making any money from it."

_

* * *

Chapter 9 _

_1 month ago_

_The Burrow_

* * *

Of what we know, what do we know to be _certain_? 

Will there always be a sun to rise and set as the earth moves in its appointed course? Will clouds always form from the evaporated water of the ocean, and always return it by saturating the thirsty ground?

Will good always triumph over evil?

My point is…nothing is certain…even what we see with our own eyes.

* * *

With our future secured to our satisfaction, we delved into the mystery abolishment. The innovation and creativity of the spells involved _had_ to be admired, for all were original and unable to be duplicated. Whoever was responsible proved to be extremely powerful, maybe too powerful to be just one person. We dismissed the idea that two people were involved; one person is smart but people are stupid. If more than one had been involved, one of them surely would have made a mistake or left a clue. Conversely, it was hard to imagine that this was the work of just one person. It was such a conundrum. 

We did not allow anyone to leave Hogwarts, explaining that it was much safer to stay behind the protecting wards of the school. But as strong as those wards were, fear still seeped through.

Trepidation and cynicism oozed into logical minds.

People walking alone would casually look over their shoulder.

Trusted friendships were forgotten.

Simple sentences were attacked for their "real meaning".

No one was immune to this scrutiny.

The worst part was that there was nothing we could do to validate or invalidate our suspicions. Since we all had learned long ago to resist the effects of the Imperious Curse, we could all easily resist the controlling nature of Veritaserum. We had to live without justification of the baneful thoughts that randomized in our minds.

Outwardly, we always disguised our surveillance of each other as just keeping an eye _out_ for one another, but the truth was we wanted to keep an eye _on_ one another.

And I had no doubt that I was first on their suspect list.

I was not surprised.

But I was rather disappointed when Draco changed.

He began to look at me differently, always casting furtive glances in my direction, tensing whenever I would touch him. He always denied my questioning, so I just tried not to provide any ammunition for his paranoia.

I did not blame him, and as angry as I was that his faith in me was shaken, the only reason I caught those furtive glances is because I had been casting my own.

_Evil is a faceless stranger_

_Possessing such great danger_

_It walks among us wearing a mask_

_Deceiving us all, finishing its task_

Still congregated at Hogwarts, we decided to make the best out of the time that we had, instead of just waiting until the next wave of terror hit.

A party was planned.

* * *

Determined to celebrate the small victories we could claim, several of us made our way to New Diagon Alley to purchase supplies for our last festivity. 

But our arrival disturbed the neglect that had taken over.

New Diagon Alley, conceived only to create an illusion of normalcy, was never a bustle of activity. With only a few shops reopened, the expectation of finding little to no life on those streets was routine. But this was different; this was desertion.

It was what happens to today when it becomes yesterday. Discarded. Abandoned.

I have never seen the earth look so empty.

We did not investigate, already knowing what the result would be. Instead we continued with our plan and gathered our provisions, even leaving money on empty counter tops.

Apparating back to the path leading to Hogwarts, we were still reeling from the bizarre encounter, when we were hit with another one.

_The sensation that dusk had arrived early was dismissed as their eyes drifted skyward to locate the source of the darkening sky. What they saw was amassed in such quantity that the flight of the creatures redirected the flow of air and disturbed the foliage scattered on the ground. The number was so great that it blocked those watching of their view of heaven._

_Owls._

_Hundreds and thousands of owls._

_From below they watched, surprise turning to astonishment as the messengers passed overhead to seek salvation in another world._

_A tiny wisp, pure as a snowflake, broke away from the flock and floated down to perch on her master's shoulder. He had watched her decent and now stroked her feathers that were the color of innocence. _

_He was stalling, trying to summon the strength for what she needed him to do._

_She needed him to say good-bye._

_Emotions restrained, he leaned in and whispered his release. She lingered a moment longer and nipped his finger before soaring off to rejoin the migration. His eyes never left her, only blinking when she was indiscernible in the horizon._

_He hoped that he would see his beloved Hedwig again._

We thought we had more time, but things were deteriorating more rapidly.

* * *

The party had felt like a lie, a feeling akin to what a child feels when a mother tries to reassure them after the loss of a pet. It was hollow, but we faked it anyway. 

We drank Butterbeer and Fire Whiskey.

We danced to up-beat songs and slower romantic songs.

We talked with each other.

We laughed as if everything was all right.

We refused to acknowledge that what had remained of the _entire_ wizarding world could fit inside the Great Hall.

We ignored our pounding heartbeats and cold sweat of anticipation, knowing that it was only a matter of time before the next wave of terror hit.

Everyone had perfected their mask of relaxation and happiness, the music was continuous, alcohol was consumed without inhibition, and couples relished each other's company.

Then it all suddenly stopped. Evil had arrived.

The music halted, the lights went out, and all the chatter stopped. We were plunged into absolute silence and darkness; instinctively we grabbed the closest hand and held it firm as a small sound penetrated the palpable stillness, a sound that reminded me of a spitball blown through a straw.

Over and over again, this sound ripped through the silence.

I have no concept of how much time had lapsed since it all began. Sometimes it feels like it was an eternity, other times it feels like mere moments. But when it stopped, it stopped as suddenly as it had started.

The lights returned.

As my eyes adjusted to the intrusion of light, I could see that only a few people were standing. My vision clearing, I could then recognize that it was Draco, Ron, Ginny, Charlie, and Hermione. They were all wearing identical expressions of incomprehension.

And I saw why.

Littered on the floor were my friends, my companions, my lineage. Pools of blood leaked from their wounds and slowly surrounded them, creating a macabre aura. Some were still clutching their loved ones hand.

Ginny was sobbing against Ron's shoulder, Hermione looked furious, and Charlie kept running his hand through his hair while trying not to break down.

The horror of the situation surpassed the death around us.

We were the only ones left.

Why were we spared?

Was it a blessing or punishment?

By mutual unspoken agreement, we fled…back to the Burrow.

* * *

Secluded in the Burrow, we all tried to ignore the beckoning of surrender, the temptation to float into oblivion. We did not know when our turn would come, who would be taken next, or whether we should try to fight. 

But the darker things become, the stronger the human spirit will shine.

_There is no better representation of "busy work" then housework. Dust something and it needs dusting again tomorrow, but even something so mundane can tender the most unexpected results._

_While the others chose to wither away the days in defeat, she would ceaselessly clean, all the while thinking that one so clever should be doing something better with her time. Research and knowledge would not provide an answer though, and she saw no use pretending to hope._

_She absently feathered over collections, shelves, her beloved books and she thoughtlessly passed a rag over the frames of the portraits in the hall. Passing through doorways and hallways, her movements were suddenly arrested as her subconscious tapped her on the shoulder._

_Something was wrong._

_Repeating her path, she tried to determine what was causing her alarm. Her analysis of the environment finally unveiled the dilemma when she recreated her action of dusting the doorway._

_Her hand passed right through._

_Long void of laughter or conversation, her cry of alarm echoed easily through the house and demanded the attention of others. Her husband, her hero and her intellectual equal responded._

_Scampering to all corners of the house, they were unable to find any solidity. Final assessment revealed this contamination of transparency violated the entire abode._

_Everything…everything…was fading away._

_With voices rising in panic, the four cast worthless spell after worthless spell. They hurriedly produced potions that might as well have been water. Nothing was working and one of them was reminded of a question spoken by his first year betrayal, what is this magic?_

_Only two in the household had not turned up for the discovery and the effort, the youngest and the oldest. _

_Now they became hunted._

_Locating them in the living room, the youngest man of the family notified the others and proceeded in to express his relief that they had been found before the inquisition began. Half serious, he joked his suspicion over their absence in hopes of preparing them into having an explanation, all the while his mind wondered why they did not speak._

_Arriving closer, realization crushed his heart._

_He could see right through them._

_Their faces looked back at him, apology in their eyes, but he would not take it._

"_I failed you, not the other way around."_

_The others arrived to find the last member of the household speaking his admiration to his older brother and his pride to his younger sister. They gathered around him, explanation concluded. They watched him as he tenderly touched the air around his sister's face while she tried not to look terrified._

_Fever pitching, more spells were cast with no effect. The one who had joined this family by marriage could not handle the sight unfolding before her, and fled from the room. The other's followed, not wanting to eavesdrop on the family's last moments._

_No one spoke as they collectively waited hour after agonizing hour for the phenomenon to complete. Slowly, this prolonged torture omitted an entire home and erased two of its members._

_And on a grassy hill top, four people stood on an invisible foundation, shrouded in despair._

The trio survived…plus one.

But it wasn't over yet.

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A/N: Well peeps…only two more chapters left! What will happen? When will it happen? Stay tuned…

As always, thank you so much for reading. Please leave your thoughts; I would love to hear them!

**Xikum**: I am so glad that you are back! Your review regarding Harry's breakdown affecting the wizarding world was really inspirational! If only I hadn't already determined the ending, I would have asked your permission to incorporate that thought into the story. Really, it was an excellent idea.

I am afraid that this chapter validates your second review, but all hope is not lost! It may or may not be the end of the wizarding world after all, (don't you love my subtle way to keep you reading?).

Thank you again for your insightful and though provoking review!

**Silver Emerald Eyes**: My darlin', don't you ever apologize! Late or not, I am just so happy when I see your name pop up in my email! Your reviews are almost a story in themselves! Seriously, you really know how to make someone feel wonderful.

I am sorry for the POV confusion in the opening of the last chapter, but wow…thank you forever for all those fabulous things you said! "The Perfect Rose" poem is actually mine, and I am so honored that you liked it so much! Personally, I think my poetry sucks, especially when I compare it to my brother's. I am also delighted that the first scene portrayed for you everything that I wanted it to. It's hard to write that kind of emotion, you know? Again, thank you SO much for everything; you truly are my sun, my moon, and my world.

**Charmina**: I inspired a "Chandler Dance"? Me? Are you sure you reviewed the right story? In case you did, a BIG HUGE thank you is deserved. You review was so touching, and don't sell yourself short! Your writing is truly beautiful!

I hope this chapter finds you still in enjoyment of my story! Thank you again!

**Dragenphly**: Alright, you caught me…I am evil :)! But that admission will still not compel me to tell you if the tissue industry will experience a shortage when this story is over…sorry. My evilness is perversely pleased that you are still reading, and I thank you for the encouraging review!


	10. Shadows still remain

A/N: Welcome back everybody! I would like to say that my update was so long in coming because I wanted everyone to have enough snuggle time with HBP. Hmmm…now that I have said that, it really is a good excuse.

Warning: There are so many warning for this chapter that I should probably tell you to not read it. But here goes (deep breath). MILD spoilers for HBP, and I do mean mild. The spoilers are so minute that someone reading would only think that they came from my imagination…but they didn't. There are definitely no strong plot spoilers, except for one thing. Next: there is slash in this chapter, and I don't mean "G" rated, I mean good old fashioned hot sweaty "R" rated slash. Yeah baby! Moving on: More character death, some is kind of gruesome, so make sure you are not eating anything meaty when you read. Also, there are some other sensitive stuff with animals (I promise not graphic, not painful, nothing bad). Okay! I think I covered it all!

Enjoy!

_

* * *

Chapter 10 _

One week ago

_Culmination  
_

* * *

These are the times that define us. 

I heard this once, and I found it mildly insulting.

_Are _we defined by the things we face and survive? Do those who threw themselves into death for the benefit of others have less character then those who lived to face another adversity? Are we supposed to view those people as cowards because they lacked the strength to protect their mortality?

Or are we the cowards for facing death and running away from it?

Are we supposed to have some deeper meaning of life because we carry the death of those we loved?

Bullshit.

I was not thankful…nor enlightened…that I was still alive.

I was scared.

* * *

Suspicions were gone. Of the four of us, Ron, Hermione and I had been through too much to give even a moment's pause in trust. 

As for Draco, I loved him too much to condemn him to fault.

Perhaps it was all some warped version of natural selection. Perhaps higher beings had decided that our time was up…and we had not done what were supposed to do.

Perhaps this was nature's way of starting over.

Whatever the reason, we remained clueless to the intent as we stood on the hilltop, deciding our next move.

We were going to leave; it would have been the most sensible thing to do. We should have left that spot in separate ways, going to different corners of the earth.

We should have.

But I felt nostalgic.

We returned to Hogwarts one last time.

* * *

Although the wards that protected the school from anyone apparating directly inside were long gone, by habit we arrived just outside of Hogsmeade, and began to walk. 

The road took us along side the Forbidden Forest. Normally dark and foreboding, the forest seemed to have intensified its eerie silence. Cautiously, we continued our path, wondering what could be lurking inside that was so threatening that even the air would not draw attention to itself by rustling the leaves.

Unable to ignore the lure of curiosity any longer, we shifted our stride and crossed the threshold into the forest.

Visually, it was normal at first. If it hadn't been for the suffocating feeling of _wrongness_ we would have turned back and dismissed our uneasiness as overreaction. The more we walked without justification, the more we convinced ourselves that we _were _overreacting.

Then Hermione tripped.

Over a spider shaped stone.

We looked closer at things that our passing glance assumed was a natural fixture, and found hundreds more of these stones, all in various sizes and postures.

It was obviously what remained on Aragog's family.

Further and deeper into the forest we delved, passing other magical creatures immortalized in their new prison.

We encountered a group of centaurs; some posed for combat, others protecting their children from whatever nemesis penetrated their defenses.

It was a picture of futility.

Now halfway through the deranged menagerie, we were more anxious to reach the grounds of the school then discovering more secrets from the forest. We kept our eyes forward, musing internally, where once again we were interrupted by Hermione.

A soft cry was the only warning we received before she bolted through the trees. Following her for a short distance, we discovered her cause of alarm.

With the setting sun casting silhouettes, her elongated shadow mimicked her movements and touched the horned creature at the same time she did. She slowly reached out to the most mythical and beloved animal, a representation of her childhood, now only a stone remainder. Her hand caressed the mane, lingered along the cheek and eventually made its way to the top of the unique horn.

The unicorn was bent over slightly, perhaps grazing when it fell victim to harm. Hermione leaned over gently and kissed the magnificent animal on the forehead.

"I will remember you." she whispered.

She turned and made her way back to our small group. Ron reached out and wiped away the tears that had rolled down her cheek. She pulled away, a sad smile on her face.

"Well," she shrugged, "they were never supposed to exist in the first place."

* * *

We emerged from the forest in a spot that was between Hagrid's old hut and the Quidditch pitch. Hermione was still silently mourning but could not conceal her giggle when she saw glint of competition in the eyes of Draco and I as we looked upon our old arena. She glanced at Ron, and saw the same longing and could not deny him the opportunity. 

"Just go!" she said with fake exasperation.

Not needing encouragement, the three of us sprinted towards the broom closet, grabbed the necessary object, and quickly soared into the air. For hours we flew around the pitch, playing a mock game with all of  
us "seeking" the little wisps of light that Hermione would conjure for us. Our memories projected stands full of students and teachers cheering for their favorite team, and our minds announced the always entertaining commentary.

We played well into the night, finally forced to land when our fingers lost all feeling from griping the broom in the cold night air. Realizing the late hour, we decided to spend one more night in our second home and go our separate ways in the morning.

Such an innocent decision.

Against Draco's wish, we chose the Gryffindor dorms to be our accommodations for the night.

In all fairness, he _was_ outvoted.

We walked unnoticed through the school. The ghosts were gone, the portraits were empty and the house elves had long abandoned us. It was spooky, like the four of us had entered a haunted house on a dare.

In a way, that's precisely what we were doing.

Once inside the common room, Hermione dragged Ron off towards the girl's dormitory with the excuse of "warming up".

Once alone, Draco and I decided that was a wonderful idea.

Heading towards the showers, we tentatively began the seduction with small touches on the neck and back. The friction caused by that contact was so overwhelming electric, that by the time we reached the showers, half of our clothes had already been discarded. Draco looked delicious with his mused hair and swollen lips, evidence of our entwined journey down the hallway wall.

We wasted no time disrobing completely once we turned on the near molten water in the shower. Our flushed skin didn't need more heat, but the water soothed our tense muscles, and we melted into each other.

Our caresses were desperate, but we did not rush. We took turns washing each other, pleasuring each other. My need for him escalated quickly, but I stayed restrained.

Somehow I knew that it would be the last time.

We leaned against the wall to support ourselves and I slid my hand between his thighs, massaging those erogenous zones with careful pressure while I licked and sucked his neck. He dropped to his knees and torturously swirled his tongue along my length, leaving me to quiver. Knowing I was close, he stood, hoisted my leg onto the ledge and slowly prepared me. After an eternity of pleading, he withdrew his fingers and I closed my eyes to prepare myself for the trip to oblivion.

I stroked myself, duplicating his movements, rocketing towards satisfaction. We never parted lips, keeping our bodies connected as much as possible.

It was perfect.

The kind of perfection that the last time should be.

* * *

Once spent, we quickly rinsed off and headed towards the common room for our bags, which contained some food. We were both starving. 

Apparently, taking a shower can really work up an appetite.

Descending the stairs, we heard music that grew louder with every stop. Now in full view of the common room, we saw Ron and Hermione dancing to the same song they danced to on their wedding day. The only illumination came from the flickering fire, the soft music wafted serenely through the room, and Ron and Hermione gazed at each other with such love and passion.

It was the most romantic thing I had ever seen.

Ron noticed our presence first. It must have been quiet comical, Draco and I standing hand in hand, our heads tilted ever so slightly.

He stopped, his back to the fire, with a love struck grin on his face.

"Don't mind us," Draco said, "we're just here to grab some food and then we're gone!"

Hermione, who had turned to see why Ron had stopped, turned back to her husband.

"Good." She replied.

I rapidly crossed the room to grab our bags and could see Ron lifting Hermione's face to his own. I scooped up the supplies and hurried back to the staircase, leaving the obvious sounds of intense kissing behind. Draco was casually looking at the wall, but glanced over when his peripheral alerted him to my approach.

He was smiling; I like to think that I was too.

It's amazing how quickly things can change.

In the same second that I saw the smile on Draco's face plummet, I heard the fireplace whoosh.

The whoosh that announces the arrival of someone traveling by floo.

I turned back and watched helplessly as Hermione shifting to look into the fireplace. She screamed when Ron was suddenly absorbed into a green light, and fell to the ground. His body acted as a curtain that finally pulled back and revealed our mystery.

We stood, rooted by shock as we all finally had our question answered. Now we knew the one who caused all this, the one to blame.

Ginny Weasley.

Suddenly, I could see everything.

_

* * *

As an honorary member of the Order of the Phoenix, she was given full access to the Headmaster's office to use his covert floo connection to pass on information. Therefore, it was extremely easy to drop the poison onto his candy one day, when she was on her way out. _

_xx_

_She waited for her old potions professor to return from his daily visit to the Order headquarters. She watched him stalk his way down the ally in Spinner's End, and she was confident that he had no idea on what awaited him. As he reached his doorway, she flung open the door,_

"_Sectumsempra!"_

_She pulled his screaming writhing body into his house, and cast a silencing charm before stepping over the suffering man to get to the front door. With a glance back, she winked at the dying professor before shutting the door and locking him in._

_xx_

_The giant took months of planning and careful execution. He was smarter then even Hagrid was aware of, and knew that he was not wanted in the forest. Since his brother did not visit as often, he would move from place to place in an effort to remain undiscovered._

_But she was able to find him every time._

_To him, she looked like an angel, floating down to whisper warnings about his brother. Warnings of being unloved and unwanted, warnings of how his brother planned to kill him; to get rid of him. She reinforced these warnings by placing obvious clues to the giant's whereabouts so the half-breed centaurs would find him. Eventually, she manipulated her visits to immediately follow an attack, and she fed the giants more lies that his brother had been the one who led them there._

_She allowed this routine to continue until she was satisfied that the giant was blinded by pain of infection and confused with untruths, only then did she suggest to Hagrid that it had been too long since he had visited his brother. She watched from a distance, giggling when the giant ripped the smaller man to pieces._

_Thoroughly pleased with herself, she conveniently "discovered" the gamekeeper's body and alerted the school._

_She giggled again when they killed the giant._

_xx_

_By the time the Confrontation came, her powers had increased beyond anything she could have hoped for. What was better was that no one had suspected her or her involvement in any of the tragedies that had befallen the school. The only thing that was disturbing was that the more her powers grew, the stronger and more insistent the voice inside her head became._

_While the battle raged outside, she slipped from the castle at the instruction of the voice. She knew someone was out there, someone who had spread such fear and hate, someone who the voice was disappointed with, someone who she was going to replace. With her internal guide, she made her way through the thickets of the forest to find him. She saw him preparing to face off against those who stood for the light, and she stepped into his path. She faced him squarely and did not flinch when he raised his wand. The maniacal glint in his crimson hued eyes did not disguise the slight hesitation and uncertainty he suddenly felt._

_She took a step closer._

"_You are not what I had in mind."_

_She was the one who spoke, but it was not her voice that was heard. _

"_Look at you. You are the very definition of pathetic. When my future was envisioned this was not how I predicted it would be."_

_The evil man, feared my thousands, was shocked by these words, almost as if he recognized the voice. He dropped his wand and turned to flee, but was stopped by a simple spell._

_From there she worked quickly, setting the scene and perfecting the pose to optimize the horror when the body was found. When she heard people approaching, she slipped into the forest unnoticed._

_xx_

_She had an unsuspecting arsenal of Death Eaters to play scapegoat, allowing her to experiment with the potential of her powers, and slowly destroy the wizarding world. At the urging of the voice, she agreed that it was time to end it all._

_Loitering in her brother's joke shop and looking at the streets teeming with people, she day dreamed about how many she could kill today and waited until the town reached full occupancy before leaving the shop. She made her way to the center of town and repeated a spell once cast by a rat during an escape, but on a much larger scale. Her personal wards protected her from the massive explosion, and this time…the voice laughed with her._

_xx_

_She was invincible, but when another claimed the headlines she became infuriated and betrayed. To give credit, the vengeful woman was hard to track down and almost had to be admired for her sadistic torture of others. By the time she caught up with the woman, so many Death Eaters had been viciously killed, and the woman had just finished killing one more. She watched as the woman cleansed herself from the gore she created, and then she spoke._

"_Hello mother."_

_She sees the emotion of joy spread across the woman's face, joy which quickly turned to pain._

_She boxes up her mother's mutilated head and ships it off to the Ministry, wishing she could see their reaction._

_xx_

_Now completely consumed by the inner voice, she whispers to it in the secluded darkness of her parent's old bedroom and plans her next move. She is encouraged by the troubled relationship of her childhood crush, and gives him a gift of her devotion by dispatching of his horrible muggle relatives._

_But he does not notice._

_Her dreams are filled with death and massacre. Once…and only once…the dreams were too terrifying that when she awoke, she quelled the voice and went in search of comfort. Her efforts proved too weak, for by the time she encountered another person, she felt herself giving in. Mustering the last bit of her soul that was untouched, she managed to mutter one sentence._

"_Remember me this way."_

_The she fell into the abyss._

_xx_

_With the last of her purity gone, she refocuses on her mission, nodding in consent when the voice tells her that she will never have what is rightfully hers unless she follows his commands._

_The love of her life is separated from the one who is unworthy, and she never understands how he could mourn the absence of someone he used to hate. She is enraged by his continued ignorance of her and directs that anger to destroy the world he lives in._

_She levels cities and towns; she mercilessly murders thousands of witches and wizards, she destroyed places that have a past, and she destroys places that have a future. She evens destroys an old manor where an old enemy lived._

_But he still does not notice._

_The only mark of her efforts is in faces that are etched with fear and puzzlement. _

_She makes a grand stance and destroys the new international headquarters in hopes that perhaps if his distraction was dead, he would pay more attention to her. Never considering that the distraction had been reassigned, she is devastated to learn that he still lives._

_She does not handle failure well._

_xx_

_Unable to punish the one who truly warrant it, she heeds to the demand of the voice who wishes to punish those who failed it._

_She stands on the rocky shore of the isolated island and hears the desperation of those imprisoned inside the building she faces. Remembering the actions of the Ministry when she forced the "resignation" of the dementors, she chuckles softly as she harnesses the power of nature to concurrently remove the abhorrent prison and end the suffering of those inside._

_She is satisfied with the result and leaves the filthy place._

_xx_

_Her new living arrangements are not to her liking. Though she enjoys the paranoid environment she has fostered, and marvels at how well she has performed in avoiding detection, she finds it nearly impossible to seek solitude. To make matter's worse; her love has rekindled his relationship, leaving her seething with hate. _

_The school, her new residence, remains mostly empty. She swells with pride when the voice praises her and also reminds her that there is still work to be done. Taking advantage of everyone in the same room, she interrupts the faux party and kills the rest of her kind with a spell that punctures their flesh with small metal beads._

_All are now dead, except for a select few._

_He has to notice her now._

_xx_

_She is sickened by the depression that possess her old home, and she is frustrated that nothing she does makes him see how much she loves him. The voice shares an idea with her that will force a show of affection. She is hesitant at first, but the voice promises her that she is omnipotent, able to control life and death._

_The voice promises her that she will return._

_With the other's drowning in their own pity, she begins to fake her elaborate death and patiently waits for someone to notice. _

_She is not surprised when the Mudblood figures it out._

_She hears the shouts echoing through the house, but has to contain her glee before assuming an air of panic. Perfecting her emotions, she frantically searches for her older brother and delivers a flawless performance of sharing his fear. Her other brother discovers them, but she does not pay attention to what he does or says. Finally, the one she has been waiting for appears and her heart expands as she watches his noble efforts to save her. When he does not succeed in finding a solution, she expects him to tell her all the things she has always wanted him to say._

_But he does not speak._

_He does not even say good-bye._

_Though he appeared to be saddened by her "death", he does not shed a tear as the hours creep by until she is gone._

_Fighting her way back, she reemerges from a limbo a short distance away, but just in time to see her love take comfort in the arms of the other._

_This time there will be no forgiveness._

* * *

Oh. My. God. 

My eyes shifted from Ginny to Hermione, who was hunched over Ron's lifeless body. Draco and I were frozen in place with an effective but simple spell. The air around us started to grow colder; I was about to witness a live version of the Hermione I met in the pensieve.

Hermione stood, hair whipping around her face as she summoned all magic to her. Ginny paid her little attention, glaring at me instead. Her eyes only widened slightly when she felt the immense surge of power beside her.

They faced each other over the deceased, silently. Ginny was too cocky to speak, and Hermione was too overwhelmed with a thousand emotions, though she desperately wanted to know _why_. Knowing that she would not be able to ask, Hermione decided that Ginny's death would be closure enough. She raised her hands to deliver divine retribution, but then they suddenly clutched her own throat instead.

Ginny smiled.

And I was completely helpless, able to do nothing as my best friend was ripped away from me.

"What's wrong Hermione? I thought you would like this since you have stolen life with those hands before."

Hermione was helpless to release the vice like grip she had on herself, and she quickly succumbed to the lack of oxygen.

She collapsed to the ground, next to her husband.

Then Ginny turned back to me, still smiling.

I finally found my voice.

"Why Ginny?"

Her smile faltered a bit as she considered an answer.

"Because you love me with her eyes. Or, at least you used to."

Then she threw an old diary to the floor.

"No one ever bothered to check if Tom Riddle had been completely exercised from my mind; however, I must thank you. He has been a companion for years, teaching me to realize my full potential. Of course, he looks a lot like you, one of the main reasons that I never let anyone know about him. He indulged my fantasies, so when he asked me to do him a favor or two, I never hesitated. He does not have your eyes though, the one thing that would make him a suitable replacement. You have _her_ eyes, so he tells me. He has told me all about her, how much he coveted her, wanted her. .He loved her you know, that's why he offered to let her live."

She fell to the ground, wrapping her hands around her knees.

"Why you could not love me I will never understand. With all that I have ever done for you! I waited, I pined, I gave up. Then, _then_ you decide you want me! For such a brief moment in my life, I had you, and I was happy.

She stands, and walks towards me.

"I should have known it was too good to last. You had me completely, then you drop me, telling me that you must give up our relationship because of what you have to do. THEN YOU DECLARE YOUR LOVE FOR HIM!"

Her fury had levitated her a few feet from the ground; her eyes were burning red.

Now I knew how she had gotten all that power. It had been two people all along; they just co-existed in one mind.

So then came my choice. Do I save myself and say all the things that she wants to hear? Could I live when there is no world to live in?

No, I refused to accept that.

"Grow up Ginny."

She screamed, an awful high pitch scream that shattered all the windows. I could then move, her spell interrupted by her unfocused anger, but Draco was still stuck.

I pushed him aside and prepared to duel.

Ginny and I fought until the rays of morning light tiptoed across the carpet. I knew I could not win, not when my opponent poured hate and harm into every spell. My energy was draining, and she had hardly broken a sweat.

She stopped, knowing she was the victor.

"Now, feel the pain that I have known my entire life!"

She pointed the wand at Draco, and for a moment his eyes met mine. With that short connection, we communicated all of our unspoken feelings. He eyes shined with love and regret, and I almost could not bear to look.

Silently, we said good-bye.

And in the next breath, Draco was dead.

Understandably, my memory becomes a little fuzzy after that.

* * *

I remember that Ginny was pacing back and forth in agitation, saying something about letting me live in the isolation I always perpetrated. 

I remember looking at Draco, and thought about everything that we struggled against, just for the right to _love_. I stared at his unblemished skin, and remember the sound of my heartbeat reverberating in my ears.

I remember thinking back on all those people who died, how I always passively accepted their death with the justification that in a war…death was inevitable.

But the war was over; I was no longer going to be so _accepting_.

Lastly, I remember shouting at Ginny to "shut the fuck up", before I raised my wand.

Naturally, she reacted in defense.

The spells were cast a fraction apart. But the moment before my body was hit, I saw Hermione.

I don't know how long she had been standing there, nor do I know the spell she cast in my direction.

But I do know that I stayed long enough to witness the horrible and victorious death of Ginny Weasley.

Then I was gone.

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A/N: Wait! Don't hate me yet! There is still another chapter left!

Thank you for reading, please leave a review?

**Charmina:** I hope you remembered the tissue. So, let's discuss how much I loved your review. I REALLY LOVED YOU REVIEW! Thank you and thank you and thank you! This is going to sound like a weird comment, but you really know how to compliment a person. I was so honored when I saw your name pop up in my review list, then to hear you say such wonderful things? It blows me away. I do plan to continue writing, already have another story in mind in fact! But my true wish is that you continue to visit me with your sweet words and loving personality.

**Draco8448:** Thank you for the review! I hope you have made it through the rest of the story and continued to enjoy it.

**Silver Emerald Eyes:** Ah, the best for last. It's official, I am in love with you. I have even erected a small shrine in your honor!

That's really funny about the other review, and I am super glad that it didn't happen with the last one. I am also glad that my comments helped your forget the stress, but you really deserve it. From the moment you first reviewed, you have made me feel SO special and appreciated. There is no way that I can ever thank you properly.

Thank you for noticing the little details! The Gryffindor angle was EXACTLY what I had in mind when I had them leave the money on the counter. And the owls? I am very sorry about bringing up sad memories, but it was my own RL stuff that helped me write that scene. So I can completely understand. The love of an animal is so unconditional, it's almost as if they think they are betraying us when they have to leave. Meanwhile, I am just glad that my life was touched with theirs.

Didn't mean to gross you out, I keep doing that don't I? I hope you heeded the warning at the beginning and stayed away from anything to induce the gag reflex. And yes, the girl in the final scene was Hermione. I felt terrible about dissolving the Burrow, but I had to make it profound only because of how profound it has been in Harry's life.

To answer some of your questions: Yes, the chapters are slowly advancing in time, all heading towards the inevitable. You guessed it! The last chapter will be in the present. No, I don't have a LJ account, but it's something that I have wanted. I guess I should really focus on getting that started. Hope the abiogenesis theory worked out for you! Stay precious, and I can't wait to see your thoughts on this chapter.


	11. November Rain

A/N: I beg all of you to forgive me for taking so long with this chapter. In the midst of a lot of personal issues to deal with in the last few months, my mind just could not do this last chapter justice and I could never compromise the integrity of these last words, especially for all those who have followed this story along with me.

But praise! The story is now finished! I do hope you all enjoy it! This chapter takes us back to the prologue, which you might want to reread because I have taken so long to wrap this up. No warnings for this chapter, just some mild spoilers for HBP.

_

* * *

Chapter 11_

_Today_

_A New Life_

* * *

I open my eyes.

Two things register immediately; I'm outside…and it's raining.

The lone illumination that I hold in my hand struggles; cowering against its natural enemy as I attempt to reconcile the thoughts that are flashing through my mind. I will them to slow down, to allow me to make sense of them, analyze them…but they do not heed my desire.

Then a frail whisper floats by.

My head turns in its direction, and I respond, regardless that I am unable to locate the source of the voice. With a brief glimpse of the perimeter, I can now place myself outside of Hogwarts, and facing the Forbidden Forest. My memories assault me again and I know that I am staring, unable to focus on anything other then the images that are trying to tell me a story.

How did I get here?

There is only one thing that I know without doubt; something is not right.

Instinctively, my mind conjures the name that has haunted me since I was only a year old, but I stop. Somehow I know that he is not the answer.

Slowly, my memories begin to restore themselves.

Extermination.

Death of family and friends, everyone uniting and fighting evil, more death, suspicions and accusations, and more death still.

The whisper again, it startles me. I spin and whirl; yielding more forcibly. Still, I do not see anyone.

I crawl back inside myself, anxious to for my memory to reveal what happened next.

Fear.

Everyone is afraid. Even….

Suddenly I buckle under the weight of overwhelming grief. Just thinking his name makes me want to scream in anguish.

Draco.

My tears flow freely, disguising themselves as rain water, the same rain water that has me drenched and shivering.

At least I think that is the reason I am shivering.

Why do I feel this way? For reasons that elude me, I simply cannot remember.

_And now he's gone, and the flower sits alone_

_Its dead petals sway as the wind blows_

_With impossible love that it once had known_

_One imperfect rose_

I turn to make my way into the castle, and again I find myself wondering why I came here. To ground my thoughts, I feverishly repeat my old mantra and place my hand on the castle doors.

My candle finally surrenders to defeat, pitching me into darkness as once again I hear that voice. I erupt in a scream of frustration that has been building inside of me.

"WHO'S THERE!"

I would be surprised if I got an answer.

* * *

Flinging open the castle doors, I stride into the Main Hall…then stop dead in my tracks.

Dumbledore. I hear Dumbledore!

I quicken my pace, heading towards the Great Hall where Dumbledore's voice is joined by the cheering of hundreds of students. The only reason I am not running is because I am not entirely sure that I am not imagining all of this.

I reach the threshold of the Great Hall, and through the door the sounds of a normal day waft through. Dumbledore is talking about something, and the students are receiving the news with thunderous applause.

Had I been mistaken earlier? Could all of those memories been fabricated? Dreamed? Relief pushes confusion aside and I open the door to the Great Hall.

Everyone is here!

I scan the room, my heart swelling with pure joy as my eyes take attendance. My mind tells me that these people should not be here, but my heart ignores it. I was afraid that I would never see them again, and I have never been more thankful that my fears were exaggerated.

No one in the room has noticed my presence, and I could no longer wait for the Headmaster to finish his speech. I ran into the room, excited about greeting those people that I felt I haven't seen for an eternity.

As soon as my body crossed the line and entered into the Hall, it all changed.

Like a blanket that is ripped away, the image of the Great Hall that I witnessed from the other side of the door disappeared.

Now it looked condemned.

Windows were shattered and cracked, mold and mildew covered the walls and the floor was broken flagstone and dirt.

I'm confused.

I feel a hand on my shoulder and I turn around to find Hermione standing behind me.

Happiness floods my senses again as I crush her in a strong embrace.

"I'm glad to see you too, Harry."

I'm throwing question after question at her, not allowing her a chance to answer before the next flies out of my mouth. She just stands there, with a small grin, probably waiting for me to run out of breath.

Finally, I end my inquisition with one last question.

"Where are we?"

She looks down for a moment.

"That's hard to explain."

She leads me further into the Great Hall and we take a seat on a rusty bench.

"What do you remember, Harry?"

I tell her that I'm not sure. I can't seem to trust my memory because it seems out of sequence and incomplete. I have feelings of intense anger and sadness, but I cannot recall the memory that supports those feelings.

She watches me closely, nodding occasionally, and eventually she speaks.

"Harry, how do you feel?"

An odd question considering what I just told her, but I decide that she must mean physically and not mentally.

So I tell her that I feel fine.

"I ask because I need to show you something, and I need to know if you can handle it."

I reassure her that aside from confusion, I feel perfectly okay.

She takes my hand and guides me out into the Main Hall then down the hallway. So intent on the next destination, I did not notice the cheerful scene in the Great Hall reappear.

She leads me to the old, now unguarded, Gryffindor common room. Stopping, I begin to crawl through the portrait hole, but she holds me back.

"You have to watch; otherwise you will break the illusion if you enter the room."

So I watch, and immediately regret doing so.

* * *

I watch the events of that last night, that night with the confrontation with Ginny; and all of my memories righted themselves.

I remember.

I remember watching Ron fall into green death, Hermione pass out from strangulation, Draco dying as gracefully as he lived, Ginny and I dueling to the death and casting almost simultaneous spells, Hermione appearing and casting another spell that hits me a fraction before Ginny's, then Ginny's death.

All of this is playing out before me, like someone had turned my mind into a projector. But the movie continues, even when my memory has stopped.

I watch as Hermione steps over to my body and whisper. She staggers a bit, before making her way to the portrait hole. Her image fades before she reaches the exit.

Confusion returns with a fury. If I am dead, and Hermione is alive, how is it that I am now in her company?

"Harry, do you remember when I worked at the Ministry developing a new spell with Draco?"

I nod.

"That was the spell you just saw."

My face must betray my confusion, for she painstakingly explained it all to me.

_Throat burning and vision unable to focus, she heard rather then saw the two other people in the room that were still alive. Based on the magical energy that hovered in the air that was filled with hate and anger, she guessed that the duel would soon reach the point of no return._

_Forgotten and left for dead, she used this arrogance to her advantage. She squeezed her eyes shut, blocking out the sounds of the fight, and filtered all of her power to muster the strength to perform one last spell._

_She took her cue when she heard dual death cast almost in tandem. Standing behind the one who had taken everything from her, she cast her secret spell to save the last thing that mattered. Her spell reached her best friend a moment before certain death, and she declares herself the winner when the one who truly deserves death finally succumbs._

_A pyrrhic victory._

_Working her way to her friend, she does not glance at the satisfactory death because she hasn't much time. Reaching her goal, she quickly whispers the necessary words to complete the spell. She feels tremendous disorientation, but fights to remain conscious._

_She needs to find help fast._

* * *

I am in awe. I had always known that her power not only surpassed mine, but a vast majority of the entire wizarding world. She had accomplished the impossible.

Hermione saved my life…by fusing my soul with hers.

It was a derivative of the horcrux, redesigned to capture an unanchored soul upon release of death. She had known that her mind would shatter under the weight of the two souls that existed within, and she had hurriedly left Hogwarts to seek help. It was only her sheer determination and strength of mind that allowed her to find a muggle town. Hermione had found her way to the safety of a medical facility before her mind finally collapsed, securing her in here with me.

"I knew what I was doing Harry. I do not regret my choice."

I stared at her in wide-eyed disbelief.

Hermione sacrificed the one thing that she prided herself in the most…her mind.

For me.

_Oh_

_Why me_

_For eternity_

_It's to be_

_Me_

* * *

We live in America now, in a muggle hospital where Hermione sits all day in a semi-catatonic state. The doctors think of her as a schizophrenic because of the way our voices whisper to each other as her body stares blindly at the wall. They can only hear us when we venture outside the castle; the recreated fortress of Hogwarts that Hermione built in her mind allows us privacy from the real world that could never understand the true nature of her final gift.

Needless to say, we do not go outside very often, but it did answer the question of the strange voice that greeted me when I first awoke.

* * *

We will live our days wandering through our beloved castle, pausing to watch a memory through a doorway or window. The torment of only being able to see our friends and never interact with them will make our existence unbearable at times, even more so when we watch memories of those we loved. But we will always have each other.

This will be our life now, and I am honored that Hermione preserved my soul, allowing me to be with her until the end of our days.

I cannot think of a better person to be with.

The love and trust that Hermione and I share promises that we will enjoy this time together; giving comfort to one another when memories become too overwhelming. And though we will live in a perpetual November where rain is always falling, I know that one day we will all reunite with those who left before us.

I am more then satisfied with that.

I take my best friend by the hand, squeezing it ever so softly,

"So…what do you want to do tomorrow?"

* * *

**The end!**

* * *

A/N: Thank you to everyone who has read and enjoyed this story! For those who left reviews to tell me your thoughts, a special place will always exist for you in my heart for making me feel so wonderful! It's really ironic that it took the words of a "flame" to bring all of this together. Funny how life works…

For those interested: I will be starting an LJ account where uncensored versions of my new story will be posted, oh yes…it'll be H/D. Plus, there is a special treat that comes with the next story. Nope! I'm no telling!

Chapters will be posted here as well, but sometimes the smut is too much for this little website to take, hence why I am starting the LJ account. I will update the "my homepage" link in my ffnet profile when it is up and running. I truly hope that some of you that have journeyed with me will continue to as I partake in my next story. Your words have always been an inspiration for me and I am not sure I can continue to write without them.

P.S. A/N: It is my birthday, and what a more wonderful gift then to leave a review!


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